


Death Can Wait

by peachesandream



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:46:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachesandream/pseuds/peachesandream
Summary: Modern AU: Levi x Female ReaderLevi Ackerman works as a janitor for Titan High-school. While having a secret relationship based solely on sex with history professor, Erwin Smith, Levi finds himself struggling to live.Although Levi has strong romantic feelings for Erwin, he asks Levi to date someone in public so no one finds out about their secret relationship.That's when you come in, as the new art professor for Titan High-school. You start falling in love with Levi without knowing that he is only using you.But eventually, as more time passes and secrets are revealed ... Are Levi's feeling for you changing?Trapped in a love triangle between you and Erwin ... Who will Levi choose?WARNING: STORY CONTAINS SEX, DRUGS, SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, ETC.Attack on Titan characters and Attack on Titan belong to Hajime Isayama.
Relationships: Levi & Erwin Smith, Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You, Levi/Erwin Smith, Levi/Erwin Smith/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 36
Kudos: 107





	1. Prologue

Something as mysterious as death can never be understood by the human mind. We are naturally drawn to it, inevitable, slow, and maybe even painful. Beautiful in its cruelty and appalling when you expect it the least.

Just like love.

.

.

.

**_Levi_ **

_I never understood ... Why do we have to live?_

_There hasn't been a single day in my life which I could say I enjoyed. Well, maybe there were a few moments. When I used to enjoy living alone and drink a cup of tea every morning but now I have lost all passion for my interests. I lost it a very long time ago and the feeling of happiness was forgotten._

_And as I look down at the lake, I saw the movement of water underneath me as I stood on top of a small wooden bridge. I couldn't help but feel the need to jump._

_It was scary, but the more I thought about it, the more I think death it's comforting. Maybe it's sweet, maybe it's not painful. It will be instant._

_Jumping into the lake won't kill me. After all, the lake's bridge is really small in height and it was made so people could pass to the other side._

_But the lake was pretty deep, so tying up a heavy rock around my foot with a rope should do the trick._

_Suffocation wasn't the best way to go, maybe I should have tried cutting myself in the bathroom. But once again, I don't want anyone to be traumatized by seeing my dead body in the bathtub. Especially my old apartment tenant who would be the only one to check on me._

_I don't want anyone to find my body, it will be easier that way. Hopefully, everyone at school will think that I just disappeared._

_Just disappear._

.

.

.

"Janitor Levi, can you come to clean something at the gym? Someone threw up."

It was always like this. Every day, Levi would wake up and head to work at a local high-school. Kids weren't his forte, but the money he received for cleaning was enough to sustain him. It was disgusting, the vomit but he liked cleaning, so he guessed that the job was ok.

"Have you met the new art teacher?"

"Yes! She's really cool, finally, we will learn something worthy in that class,"

"Yes, she will also be our new dance coach!"

Teenagers ... Levi doesn't remember ever been so frivolous in his younger years. At that age, kids think that highschool is everything and is so romanticized that they believe that their entire lives will depend on how well they do in high-school.

Well, at least he was done cleaning the vomit. The gym was pretty quiet around this time. There was no class and after a few hours of putting wax on the wooden floor of the basketball court, he thought that maybe he could take a cigarette break.

"Ah, you dropped the soda!"

"Shit, whatever it's ok. The janitor will clean it up,"

At the sound of the soda falling down and touching the clean floor, Levi turns his head to see two girls looking down at the spilled soda.

"Hey! Cock sucker, come clean this shit up!"

And with that, the two girls left as they giggled at each other.

Levi couldn't say anything, even if it bothered him. After all, he didn't want to bring any more trouble or suspicion towards him and Erwin.

Not after the rumors spread that someone found Levi sucking off Erwin in his office.

Well, it wasn't a rumor at all ... It was true.

Levi has been going out with the history professor for a few months now and they tried to keep it a secret as to keep their jobs. They weren't in an official relationship, it was just casual hookups. Levi wanted something more but he knew that it was going to be impossible for that to happen.

He craved for human contact even if it was just that of carnal desire. It was only that made him feel alive in a sense and he enjoyed it a lot too.

But it was just that, just sex with no emotional connection. But of course, that was too much to hope for.

He remembers the first time they did it, it was the first time Levi with a man or with anyone of that matter. But after that, he became completely Erwin's.

And although he didn't want to admit, he had some sort of feelings towards the blond man. He was never going to tell him and Levi was alright for now with how things were in their relationship.

Or so he thought.

.

.

.

_It only takes a jump. Just one jump to end it all, I've suffered so much. I am done with life, with everything. I just hate being alive, I don't' want to do this anymore._

_So why?_

_Why can't I fucking do it? Why am I scared?_

_I've been thinking about it for so long, everything is already done. Everything is prepared and ready to go. Just close your eyes, Levi ... Just feel the wind, the moonlight above you, and think about the eternal peace you will have once this ends._

.

.

.

His body was tired and sore from last night's lovemaking. He didn't want to go out of bed but he knew he had to eventually. The sun landed on his face and body, love marks were all over his body and he didn't even know how he was able to stand up after last night.

"Should we go to school together?" Levi says as steps out of the shower, a towel around his waist as he had just finished cleaning himself.

"I think you should go first," Erwin stretches his body as stands up from his bed. "I can't be seen with the janitor if you know what I mean."

Levi didn't want to say anything. After all, he knew that Erwin, as a teacher, had a reputation to keep. But it wasn't only that, he was looking forward to having a promotion soon and didn't want anything to ruin the opportunity.

Also, he didn't have a right to be sad nor angry. They were not in a relationship of any sort, just sex.

But somehow or another ... He still felt ashamed, not wanted.

Deep down he knew that Erwin was embarrassed by him. And of course, why wouldn't he?

He was a teacher, and he was a simple janitor.

And although these are modern days and people are more accepting, some people still didn't open up to the idea of two men loving each other ... Especially in schools.

And of course, they didn't love each other. At least not Erwin on his side. And they both needed their jobs.

"But let's meet again tonight alright?"

Erwin's words contradicted his actions. He would act very lovely but has been very straight forward with Levi. That there could never be anything in between them but sex alone.

And Levi loved him and thought that just being next to him was fine.

But just how far can his love?

"I was thinking ... Lately, there was being a lot of rumors going around between us," Erwin walked towards Levi, placing his strong hands on his shoulders. "I think it will be good if we kept a distance between us ... Why don't you try going out with someone else? Maybe a woman?"

"What?"

"You like women too, don't you?"

And yes Levi did but that wasn't the matter at hand. What Levi didn't understand was why Erwin was asking this of him. Was his job that important? What about their relationship-

Oh yes, there is no relationship.

"After what happened at school, everyone's eyes are on us," Erwin says. "I think it will be good if you made it public that you were going out with someone, a woman would be better. That way no one suspects there's something between us."

"Why me? Why not you?"

"I am a professor, I need to keep a strong facade if I want to be the next principal."

Levi knew that Erwin always took his job as a priority but he still didn't fully understand him. After all this time they have been together, he still couldn't figure out why he was so focused on getting that job. It's not like he had a family to sustain or any of that matter.

"You want that job so bad ... That you will push me away?"

" ... Yes."

.

.

.

_Did it hurt? Yes. But it was more the fact that I knew that I could never have a deep emotional connection with anyone._

_Everything was numb like each person is out of reach. And there was nothing I could do._

_I have tried and a lot. With Erwin, I tried to have more contact and be more open but he always ends up pushing me away. Also with the other teachers at school, they always look at me as less and never engage with me in a conversation unless it had to do with cleaning their classroom._

_And with the students? Well, I just didn't want to have anything to do with them. Teenagers can be cruel and I just wanted someone to talk to who was my age and could understand me._

_But I have tried really._

_Like when I made Erwin lunch to be nice but he didn't eat it. Like when I spent the whole night cleaning the classrooms in school but no one noticed. Or like when I painted the school's walls so the students could feel motivated but the next day it was spray-painted with black._

_And I realized that I was alone._

_Since the day that I was born ... So, why continue ... When it doesn't matter._

_I don't matter._

_I need to jump ... Just do it and get it over with._

.

.

.

Walking through the school's corridors was a normal thing for Levi and although cleaning was one of his passions, he wasn't having the best of days. He wanted to go to his apartment already and be sulking and maybe go to sleep ... Forever.

However, instead of doing that, Levi was called by one student. The student had asked him to go to the art class since the new teacher had made a mess and splatter paint all over the classroom. 

School had ended and no one was around but of course, he had to stay and clean someone else's mess.

And as soon as he entered the room he saw a young woman. Trying to clean the paint off the floor with a dirty drag. Her skirt was lightly up, showing exposing a little too much of her skin. The shite shirt she was wearing covered her well but the sunlight coming from the windows allowed Levi to see a little bit of her bra.

"Mr. Janitor?" the woman looks over at Levi and smiles apologetically. "I am sorry, I made a mess on your floors ... Would you have to have some Clorox with you?"

_"Mr. Janitor?"_

Levi had never seen her before, she was probably the new art teacher everyone talked about. It wasn't in his topic of interest so he never paid attention to the moment she arrived at school.

"Yes, I do," Levi says as he pushes his cleaning supplies cart alongside him. "Just move and I'll clean it."

"I don't want to bother you, just leave it here and I'll clean it myself," you say. "It's already late, I don't want you working extra."

"I don't care," Levi says as he takes out his mop from the cart, he expected the woman to move but she retaliated. "If you don't move, the chemicals will get into your clothes and they will leave a stain."

"Well, then let me do it," the teacher stands up as he removes a little bit of dirt off her skirt. "I can just drop off the mop at your office later."

That was a no for him, if there was anything he hated more than himself was people touching his cleaning supplies.

"I don't have an office," Levi says as he proceeds to put the wet mop on the paint stain on the floor. "So, let me just do my job and-"

"What do you mean you don't have an office? Then where do you go to rest or have some privacy?" You didn't have an office for yourself but at least you had your classroom, the place you can go to eat lunch and have alone time.

Levi stayed quiet. A bit embarrassed about the whole issue.

"Football field, behind the bleachers," Levi continue mopping, he was more frustrated at the fact that the paint wasn't coming off.

"That's unacceptable! I know I am new but I will bring this matter tomorrow when I talk to the director-"

"I would appreciate it if you don't, I don't want to bother anyone."

"Having basic needs to do your job is not bothering anyone," you grabbed the janitor's mop and that made him stop. You look down at him, he was a pretty small man, and even when you were wearing heels you knew that you weren't that tall either. "Please, let me help you."

Your eyes met his blue dark eyes. The small amount of sunlight passing through the window as the twilight appeared in the sky.

You didn't appreciate his face before because his long black hair covered it but as he looked up to see you, you saw he was quite a handsome young man. His eyes look tired but that didn't make them any less beautiful. A cute button nose that you were jealous of and a predominant jawline that made his masculinity stand out.

"Whatever, do as you want," Levi lets go of the mop as he begins to take off his white gloves. "Just bring it back to the storage room by tomorrow morning."

Levi takes a few steps closer to the door, still deciding whether to leave the woman by herself like that. But she seemed decided on what on doing this, so he might as well please her desire.

"I will, thank you, Mr. Janitor," you say as you smile at him tenderly. Somehow you couldn't stop looking at his nice hands.

"Don't call me that," Levi rolls his eyes as he opens the classroom's door, ready to leave.

"Well, can I get a name then?"

"Levi," the janitor says simply, he also didn't know her name but he wasn't interested in learning her name either.

"And your last name?" you ask as you look down to the floor. The stain was really putting up a fight but maybe with a little bit more strength and chemicals that might kill you.

Levi thought about it, he wasn't a fan of giving too much information about him. He was scared of it somehow but now that he thinks about it, he doesn't think someone has ever asked him that much about him before.

"Ackerman ... Levi Ackerman," Levi says as he finally opens the door, he was about to exist but your voice stopped him in his tracks.

"I'll see you around then, Mr. Ackerman."

.

.

.

_Now that I think about it ... I never got to ask her name. Even when we met multiple times because her students would always mess around with the paint. 'Mr. Ackerman this', 'Mr. Ackerman that' she always seemed to be enthusiastic to see him. It was strange but comforting it a sense. Besides the old grandma that ask for rent money every month, the art teacher was always willing to have a conversation with me._

_I wish I could see her again ... At least to thank her._

_She kinda made me want to go to school every day. I may not show it a lot but I appreciated her trying to talk to me. And her saying 'Mr. Ackerman' made me feel important. Stupid, I know ... But her small actions really made me re-think my decisions._

_Just like this one._

_Finally, I got the courage to jump. I felt the water cover my entire body, it was cold but there was nothing I could do about it. It was scary, it really was because I could see nothing but darkness. Hear nothing but the soft waves of the lave going around me. It was scary, I was scared and alone._

_Now and ever ... Even in death._

.

.

.

It was cringy and stupid but Levi made it a promise to himself to see Erwin at least once a day during school. Just seeing him made him feel the tiniest of happiness. And although they wouldn't talk, just a quick look at his way would be enough for the janitor.

Levi walked past the corridor, where Erwin's history class was. And as he was about to take a look, he saw them.

Smiling and giggling at each other. Close, very close.

And at that moment Levi thought that there couldn't be a more perfect couple.

You and Erwin were starting to become pretty good friends. Just that, good friends.

He was the one who showed around the school and he encouraged you to talk to him whenever you had questions.

But in Levi's eyes, everything seemed different.

It was the perfect couple, the perfect moment, and perfect happiness. Something he couldn't have nor even think about ever being happy.

This was his destiny, a life full of misery.

Nothing more ... and nothing less.

.

.

.

_At least, they will get to be happy together now. I bet in the future their children will be beautiful. They can move on and pretended like I never existed ... Maybe I never did._

_My body began to move uncontrollably, I had no power over it as my lungs begged for some air. I couldn't stop it, I felt panic and screamed but the water quickly filled my lungs. The heavy rock tied around my leg did not permit me from going up and although I wanted to end it all, it was still scary._

_I wished someone was here._

_Anyone. Just anyone that could have the smallest of pity towards me and say. 'Poor Levi, you have been through a lot, right? It's alright ... Now rest. I'll be here."_

And although the tears came out, it was futile because the tears mixed with the water around me.

My life was nothing but a constant misery, failure and it was frustrating ... Because I never did anything meaningful.

I just that my death is better than my life.

.

.

.

"Have you ever painted before?" You asked Mr. Ackerman who had pretended to not look at your painting.

He had taken a liking to come to see you painting once in a while but he used the excuse of cleaning your classroom as a pretext. It wasn't your paintings that he wanted to see, there were canvas all over the place and the artwork of the students was interesting to see.

"No," he responded simply as he mops the floor. His eyes down as he tried to take off the paint.

"Would you like to try?"

"No,"

You tried to be friendly but sometimes it was difficult. Nonetheless, for some reason, Levi had just his way of making his way into your heart. Not romantically, at least not now. But he definitely was an interesting person and his personality was like no other.

"Do you know that it takes 8 seconds for a man to fall in love?"

You asked him but didn't dare to look at him. You focused on your painting, on the struck of your brush, and the colors in the canvas.

"I don't believe in those things and I don't care,"

It was surprising that although Levi pretended not to care, he would always answer whenever you would talk to him ... most of the time.

"Well, I believe it's true and it doesn't just apply to the romantic aspect," you say as you quickly steal a glance at him, your eyes met his blue dark one for a short moment. "You can fall in love with a person, a place, a job or a hobby ... It only takes eight seconds to know."

"Well, I am no man but for me, it took a few seconds to know that I was in love with the arts," you let out a sigh as you remember the first time you held a paintbrush, a distant memory. "And I became a slave to it, we are all slaves to something ... What about you Mr. Ackerman?"

Levi liked hearing you talk, now that he thinks about it, this must have been the longest conversation he has had with anyone in a very long time.

It went silent for a few seconds in which you appreciate Levi's face again. It was softer as if he was thinking deeply about something. But it wasn't bad at all, he looked relaxed and even at peace.

"What are you a slave of?"

.

.

.

_My eyes quickly opened as I felt water coming out of my mouth. I began to throw up the water that I had consumed from the lake as my lungs took desperate gasps of air._

I was alive.

What had just happened?

I looked around the place, I was at the lake's shore. Peebles, and soil underneath me. My clothes were completely wet and I felt a cold run down my spine. As I look down at my feet, I found that there was no heavy rock tied to my leg.

Suddenly, I hear the heavy breathing of a woman. I turned my head and although it was dark, the moonlight above us illuminated her face just enough.

She was the new art teacher, whose name I never knew. I had forgotten to ask.

I had many questions, like why she was here and why did she save me? But no words could come out of my mouth at the moment.

"You never told me that you liked swimming," she said sarcastically, her clothes were completely wet as well and she stood close to me ... and I could see all of her.

1

"I am glad that I got lost in here, if I didn't I wouldn't have seen you jump into the lake,"

2

She was wearing a white shirt and I could see her chest rise up and down as her pink brassiere showed me more than I could handle.

3

"You own me one, I am not one to give CPR to strangers,"

4

Her face was slightly pink, her lips tremble a little as she was cold. Her eyes glowed underneath the moonlight and I could see each imperfection on her face. The small wrinkles, her dark circles, and messy hair.

5

"But we should take you to the hospital now,"

6

Her face was close to mine and for a moment I had forgotten everything. Why I was here, the reason why I wanted to take my own life, my own existence ... and I focused on her. Just her face and her whole being.

7

"You could still have water in your lungs, it's dangerous. So let's hurry and go to the hospital-"

8

"I forgot ... to ask your name,"

It was strange for me to say things without thinking. But I couldn't think of anything else to ease up the moment. It went silent for a moment and she looked at me with a surprised look on her face. At that moment I thought that her beauty can't be compared to nature around us.

I should stop thinking like that.

"Oh ... I am y/n ... y/n y/ln"

I was satisfied with her answer as I watched her stand up from the soil. She looks down at me and smiles tenderly as extends her right hand, waiting for me to accept her gesture.

"Come on Levi, let's go," she said. "Death can wait."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N: This story is a draft story. Originally, I had planned for this to be an AU for another Levi story I wrote (One Last Time) But since this is a draft I decided to give it to the people who enjoy Levi X Reader stories. (Not a big fan of Levi x Reader stories tbh)

So here is my draft, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the other chapters to come. (The writing for this story may not be the best since this a draft, I don't edit until it's done, and there may be plot holes a long way. If you want a completed story then go ahead and read One Last Time)


	2. After the Accident

It was strange for both of them to be involved in such circumstances. After a visit to the hospital and making sure Levi didn't have any water left in his lungs, two things bothered the janitor.

_"I can't afford the hospital bill! You shouldn't have taken me here!"_

_"Don't worry, I already paid for it."_

Although you didn't allow Levi to see the cost of the hospital, he still had his doubts. He knew that either you used your savings or you had an extra job because there was no way a teacher of high school got paid enough to pay 2,000 dollars in the spot.

_"I will pay you back, just give me some time to-"_

_"There's no need to."_

Now they were staring at each other in Levi's small living room. Hell, Levi wouldn't even call it a living room. It was just an old kotatsu that kept him warm during the winter. There was no TV, no magazines laying around, everything was perfectly clean. But there was no much to appreciate, it even looked like he just had moved into this apartment.

"Did you just move in?" you asked as you tried to make a little bit of conversation.

"No."

Levi looks at you, he knows that you were uncomfortable and he began to wonder if at some point you were going to ask him about what happened a few hours ago or if you were going to leave soon.

Although your clothes were already dry, your hair was a mess and it wasn't hygienic to stay in the same clothes. Levi wasn't one to invite anyone over, not even Erwin had dared to go to his apartment. But seeing that he was in 2,000 dollars in debt to you, he decided to be nice for once.

"If you want you can take a shower, I'll give you some extra clothes you can change you into," Levi stood up from the kotatsu already missing the warmth underneath the blankets.

"That will be good, thank you," you said as you followed him closely but not too close. It was strange that he hasn't asked you to leave his apartment and in all honesty, it will be incredible if he lets you stay the night.

Just to make sure he won't attempt to do what he did before.

.

.

.

After you finished showering and changing into the clothes Levi lent you, you waited patiently on the kotatsu again. It was a small apartment but the kotatsu really made up for the whole thing. You thought that maybe adding one to your apartment wouldn't be such a bad idea.

It was warm underneath and since Levi was now taking a bath, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to lay down and sleep for a few minutes.

You rested your head on the table, closing your eyes softly as you let out a few breaths.

And soon after a few seconds passed and the seconds turned into minutes and the more and more minutes passed and-

Wait.

_"How long has Levi been taking a bath?"_

You quickly stood up and headed to the next room. Knocking on the door lightly and pressing your head on the door, you asked for some sort of response from him.

"Hey, Levi, everything alright?"

But nothing, there was no sound. No response coming from and you felt like your heart dropped for a moment.

"Hey, Levi, are you alright?" You asked again and at receiving no response, you decided to do something that would be a bit uncomfortable but seeing that Levi wasn't responding and after what happened today, things like this were necessary. "I am coming in!"

You moved the doorknob but it was locked, with desperation you began to move it faster and without much thought, you decided to take an extreme measure.

Kicking the door open was easy, it didn't even hurt, and although the doorknob fell off the only thing that matter was to get to Levi.

And you saw him, half of his body submerged on the bathtub, you could only appreciate the tod half of his body. His pale skin sightly wet and his black hair was so long that it almost covered his eyes. But you were able to see them, his dark blue eyes. Swollen, and dark circles, the color red was also predominant in his eyes and you could tell that he was just tired of crying.

Even with such beautiful eyes, they were dead. His eyes said nothing, absolutely nothing.

You took a few steps and sat on top of the toilet seat, trying to be as delicate as possible as to not scare him. You thought that Levi would be angry at seeing how you broke the doorknob but nothing matter to him at the moment.

"You know, when I was in high school, I used to get bullied a lot," it was a strange story and very random too. But you thought that showing some vulnerability will make Levi start to trust you. Besides that, you didn't want to make the situation awkward and you knew that Levi wasn't ready to talk at any time soon about his problems either. "One day, my bullies beat me up so hard that I ended up in a coma."

You took the red cup that was on top of the bathtub and with soft movements, you began to get closer to Levi. Submerging the cup in the bathtub water and letting it being filled by the liquid, the water was still warm which was good.

"I was in a coma for a week, and the doctors thought I wasn't going to wake up," you delicately began to pour the water down to Levi's head. He flinched a little by the act but he didn't retaliate. His hair was now wet and even if he didn't admit it, he enjoyed the act. "Nothing fun happened while I was in a coma but I do remember something."

Then you took the shampoo bottle, opened it, and pour a little bit on your hand. You took the liberty of massaging Levi's scalp. Honestly, it was strange, weird. It wasn't like you haven't done this before. Actually, you had helped shower a couple of men before. The thing was Levi and you weren't as close to this kind of thing.

But he looked so helpless, so lost and hurt.

That the only thing you could do was to hope that your actions brought some type of comfort to his broken soul.

"A man appeared in a dream ... He was a bit short and I couldn't see his face. He wore a green cape and some sort of military uniform," you said as you kept massaging's Levi's scalp, your fingers running through his raven hair. "He stood in front of me and said, you have to be strong, you have to keep fighting ... Remember you and me... forever and always."

"It's strange because I had never seen anyone like that before," then you place warm water on top of Levi's head, the shampoo running down his body. "Maybe a past life? A past lover? I don't know but after I had that dream ... I woke up. And from then onwards I became strong ... really strong."

"Its as if my body had awoken, like an electric shock, I knew what to do with every movement of my body, I just became suddenly strong," you said. "My wounds became to heal pretty past after that and the doctors thought of it as a miracle."

Levi stood quiet but he was listening. He also found your actions strange but gentle. He knew that you two weren't best friends and this level of intimacy was unprecedented. Not even Erwin had ever been so affectionate ... Not as caring.

"And when I came back to school and my bullies looked for me ... I sent them all to the hospital," you finished washing his hair and then quickly moved to use conditioner. You were glad that Levi had a conditioner, not a lot of guys do. "My mom got angry at me and made me go to the hospital to check on them ... it was sad because the parents of the bullies never appeared. They just didn't care for their kids."

"On the bright side, after going to the hospital for several weeks ... my bullies became my friends ... and even one of them became my first boyfriend."

At that, Levi quickly turns around to look at you. Finally, his dark blue eyes showed emotion, surprise. And you were happy that at least he didn't look as lifeless as before.

"The moral of the story is that one, things happen for a reason. And two, people are capable of doing really bad things but we are also capable of doing good things. There's no such thing as an extremely evil or extremely good person," you smiled at him gently and for a moment Levi felt comfort, something he hasn't felt in a very long time.

"We are all capable of changing, Levi," you say. "Even you."

.

.

.

Now they found themselves running through the corridors of the school. Your class had started five minutes ago and you were praying for everything sacred that your students hadn't gone crazy and started to use the paints and make a mess.

You had stayed at Levi's house because he didn't kick you out. Although it was surprising, you were happy that he didn't do that. The kotatsu was a nice place to sleep and it gave you peace of mind knowing that Levi was asleep in his room.

Maybe too much peace of mind.

"We wouldn't be in a hurry if someone didn't complain to wake up when asked to," Levi walked next to you, the only reason why he was following you was that you left his cleaning cart in your classroom.

"No, we wouldn't be in a hurry if someone hadn't taken so long in the bathroom in the morning," You talked back to him. Last night was completely different from today. You two acted as if nothing had happened and although it bothered you a bit, you knew you couldn't force him to talk about his problems either.

Levi rolled his eyes as he finally realized that they were close to the art room. Taking a few steps in and entering the classroom, he didn't only notice students looking at him but the history teacher was there too.

Erwin Smith.

"Mr. Smith!" You entered the room and you smiled immediately the moment you saw the blond. "What brings you to my room?"

"I have the first period off and they asked me to look after your class until you arrived," Erwin says as he takes a quick look at Levi, pretending he didn't exist for a moment. "It seems you were busy with your company."

"Absolutely, Mr. Levi gave a really rough time last night,"

The room that was filled with student's chattering went absolutely quiet at their professor's words. You didn't sexually mean your words... or maybe did you?

Either or, your students, Erwin and especially Levi, were blushing at how 'indecent' you were speaking.

"Believe me, spending the night with him at his house isn't as exciting as it sounds," you speak again seeing that the room had gone quiet. "You thought it will be innocent, like a sleepover but next thing you know, bam! You end up so tired you finish sleeping under the kotatsu ... without a pillow!"

You turned to your back to see Levi, it was a remark of how he just literally left sleeping in the living room without any commodities as a guest.

"Yeah, well, one can only imagine," Erwin smiled a little as the thought crossed his mind that he had indeed never slept in Levi's home before. "Well, I should let you start class then."

"Oh yes!" You turn to face the young ones who were already whispering among themselves. "Morning students, start taking out your sketchbooks and pencils."

As the students started their commotion, Levi took this as a sign to get his cleaning cart and leave the room. Erwin had already left so he might as well just do this as fast as he could. But as he was about to leave, your voice interrupted his actions.

"Mr. Levi, I'll see you after school," you said as you smile, "We are far from over from last night."

Yeah, Levi definitely needed to talk to you and tell you to stop speaking like that.

.

.

.

Levi knew that there were things that shouldn't be spoken. For example, his mental health. Or at least it wasn't one of the things he wanted to speak about.

It was strange how things worked. Yesterday night he thought that he wouldn't live to see today. But here he was, mopping the floors of the school cafeteria. No one was around yet but soon they will be. Everything was clean now but of course, when lunchtime arrives, it will be a mess again.

"Do you have some time to talk?"

Levi turns around to find Erwin standing behind him. He wasn't expecting this, Erwin had made it pretty clear that they shouldn't be interacting during school time.

He pretends to keep mopping and looking down to the floor but he had to admit that he was nervous.

"Is there something you need?" Levi asks.

"About Ms.y/l ... Are you seeing her? As intimately?"

Levi couldn't help but feel a bit happy ... Was Erwin concerned now? Was this his way of showing that he jealous and that he cared?

"Is that of your concern?"

"Yes, because that would be perfect," Erwin says as he sees that Levi stops mopping. He couldn't see his face nor could tell how he was feeling. "If you were to publically date her, then no one would suspect about us."

"So, you really want me to be sleeping with someone else?" Levi turns around, he was offended and hurt and his heart broke at how unsensible Erwin was. "Do you care so little for me that you are willing to let me have another partner-"

Erwin places his strong hands on Levi's shoulders and he instantly blushed. There was no one around the school but according to their terms, they shouldn't be doing this at all. All types of content should be prohibited between them after the rumor that spread about them started.

"It's not that," Erwin says. "I care about us ... I care so much that I am willing to share you, even if it hurts me."

.

.

.

_I guess ... that if you want something, sometimes you have to make sacrifices._

_If I want to be with Erwin ... then doing this shouldn't be too much of a problem ... right?_

"Levi!"

Your voice interrupts Levi's thoughts and he turns around to see you running towards him. Carrying a black bag, a long white skirt, and a white shirt, he wonders just how in the hell were you able to keep it clean after panting all day. Nonetheless, the black cardigan must be of help too. It was strange, you looked quite calm and relaxed even with everything that happened last night.

_Well, I might as well get this over with._

"Are you doing anything this afternoon?" You ask as you were finally able to catch up with the janitor. "I thought maybe we could-"

Levi wasn't an idiot, he knew that a part of you was interested in him. Not just the co-worker type of interest, it was the romantic type. What he did not know was that if you were interested in him for something serious or not.

Or maybe because you pity him for almost killing himself.

"So, what do you say?" You ask with a smile. "If not, I was thinking we could go together to the first football game, it's going to be a home game so-"

_Well, here goes nothing_

"If I go out with you,"

Levi took a few seconds to recollect his thoughts. It was a beautiful afternoon, the twilight above you, and a few students walked past you two and even stared for a little. Levi appreciated your face and body. It wasn't that he didn't find you attractive, and it wasn't that he didn't want to do it.

It was more the fact that he had never been with a woman before.

He was scared that he was not going to be able to satisfy you and that you might leave because of that. And as a result of that, Erwin and he would have to think of a plan B.

"Would you have sex with me?"

.

.

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not quite certain how where I am taking this story, as I've said before this is only a draft. But of course, you can always expect angst with me. This may not be as good and as well developed as One Last Time but I still hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Levi is more of a softie in this story and definitely less dominant. But we will get to that later, anyways thank you for reading!


	3. Football Game

**_Levi_ **

_Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe._

_Like I am trapped in an endless cycle and no matter how much I try ... I can't escape._

_Is death really the only option? I am not scared of it, I fantasize about it actually. Is death the freedom I seek for?_

_I had many questions going through my head the first day I started working at Titan High school. I didn't finish high school since I had lost all motivation to continue an education since my Sophomore year. My first job was at a convenience store but one day a drunk bastard came and started a fight with me and I was immediately fired._

_And in an attempt to start again, I ended up here. It only took one look at the newspaper and a quick interview and I was hired._

_And on the first day ... I met him._

_"I am professor Erwin Smith."_

_And the moment I gazed upon his blue eyes. His eyes as beautiful as the sky, for a short moment I believed that living my horrible life was all worth it as long as I got to see those eyes once again._

_I found myself breathless and stunned. I even thought of myself as inferior and I still think that way. I don't even know how in the hell was someone as beautiful as him, ever looked in my way._

_And somehow and another, I found myself sleeping on his bed since that day._

_That day..._

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.

.

"Do I put off that kind of vibe? Not to be mean but I kinda don't want to see as the _'easy_ ' type around here."

Your words startled Levi mostly because you seemed to be very monotone about the situation. He knew he had come off as bold but Levi preferred to be straightforward when it came to this kind of thing. Although he looked calm on the outside, he was actually shitting himself. He had never asked a woman before to do this kind of thing.

"It's not that I don't want to do it with you, I believe you are a very attractive man," you say as you smile at Levi. "But I don't want you to feel like you need to do something to repair me ... Well, for yesterday."

You began to walk away and Levi slowly followed you. It's not like he a hurry to go home, after all, so maybe talking to you for a bit won't be bad. He was also intrigued by the situation and your way of taking this so lightly. Levi was kinda glad actually, that you didn't feel offended by his question.

"It's not that, I actually just want to try and have something with you," Levi looks around him, the streets were quiet, just a few cars passing by. Laughter and chit chat of the few restaurants they were passing by. It was such a peaceful afternoon and even it was a pleasant scenery.

"Are you trying to get with me ... So you can stop the rumors that you are sleeping with Erwin?"

You kept walking but you stopped in your tracks as you noticed that Levi has stopped walking next to you. Turning around, you notice that the short man looks perplexed and he had an upside-down smile, a bit of a blush on his cheeks, and the sunlight reflected on his dark blue eyes, showing every emotion possible.

_"He is quite beautiful."_

"I am not stupid, I've only been here a couple of weeks but everyone knows about you two and the accident," you say as you watched him stay quiet. "Of course. right now it's only a rumor but you are on thin ice buddy."

"After Erwin leaves the teacher's lounge everyone starts talking about you two ... Even the principal from time to time," you sigh, as you take a moment to look around you. Your eyes noticed a bakery nearby, it smelled like bread, your favorite food.

"The principal said that next time a rumor like that happens, you and Erwin will get fired ... I suggest you two keep a distance, at least during school time," you began to walk again as if you were hypnotized by the smell of bread. "He is going to make inspections soon and he will be cutting out personnel ... So, be careful."

Levi didn't know what to do or say at the moment. He just watched you walk away from as his feet slowly followed you.

"You know, you could just have asked me to pretend to be your girlfriend," you say as you look at the bakery in front of you. There was something about bakeries that just made you happy. You wanted to enter and buy some bread but you decided to talk to Levi first. "It actually worries me ... That you were willing to sleep with me ... start a relationship with me just so you can continue your relationship with Erwin."

At that moment Levi took a moment to appreciate your mannerisms. He noticed that you were acting different, your face had a sad loon on it. Disappointment even and Levi felt awful for even thinking that you would be easy to sleep with.

"Isn't that cruel of you? I could have fallen in love with you," you place a hand on the bakery's door handle, ready to open it. "

"I could have been a lovely girlfriend, waiting for you to come home ... while you would be somewhere else getting fucked in the ass."

Although your words embarrassed him to an extent, he knew that you were right. You were the one who saved his life just yesterday and he was already thinking of ways to betray you. To make you believe that he was actually in love with you and not the history professor.

"I thought that we were friends ... I thought you could trust me with those kinds of things," you look back at him and you hated how he wasn't saying anything. How he was just accepting everything you were saying without complaining.

"But I think I was wrong," you say. "Sorry, Levi ... but just the thought of sleeping with you now sounds ridiculous."

You opened the door to the bakery, and the sweet aroma of freshly made bread filled your nostrils. But before you could enter, Levi grabbed you by the arm, it didn't hurt or anything of that matter. But you were surprised that he acted with such confidence."

"I know I fucked up, but believe me ... I wouldn't have asked you to sleep with me if I didn't have some type of trust in you," his face was close to yours and you hoped with everything sacred that no one was watching you two right now.

"Levi, I don't know ... I-"

"Please," Levi says with pleading eyes. "I love him so much."

.

.

.

**_You_ **

_I have no idea why I said yes after that._

_Maybe it's because I have never seen some look so ... desperate._

_This was a man who just tried to end his life yesterday after all. I have to admit that probably that was one of the reasons why I said yes. Because I didn't want to trigger any more thoughts._

_Maybe doing this will help him be a little bit happier._

_Not only that but I had never seen anyone so sure about something._

_There was no doubt in Levi ... Absolutely no doubt that he loved Erwin Smith._

_I have to admit that I am a bit jealous of that._

_So far all of my experiences with romance have been very negative. I have even started to think that love was not really for me._

_Until today that I saw him again._

_Nicholas Flaherty._

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.

.

"Would you be going to the football game today?"

You turned around to see Erwin Smith standing next to you. It wasn't strange to see other teachers in the library. But since it was lunchtime, you thought that it will be less busty. You also didn't know how to approach him.

It was either one or the other. Erwin already knew that you were going to pretend to be Levi's girlfriend or he didn't know.

"Ah, yes I will ... I met an old friend at a bakery the other day so I invited him to come to see the game," you said as you pulled out one of the books on the shelf. "What about you, I heard you helped coach the team this year?"

"Yes, I will be there, I planned the team's game ... They should do good, besides we have promising students this year," Erwin voluntarily looks at the book you were holding, his body was closer than usual and although you didn't want to admit it, it made you a bit nervous. "Also ... I hope that this friend of yours won't interfere with your plans with Levi."

_"Oh, so he does know."_

"Yeah, don't worry about that, I-"

Suddenly, Erwin has you against the bookshelf. It wasn't an aggressive movement, actually, it was all the contrary. He was just a tall, blond man trying to reach a book that was on the top shelf.

Erwin looks down at you and your eyes meet his bright blue eyes for a second.

"You have something on your cheek," he says as he delicately touches your left cheek. You just knew that with one of his hands, he could be able to cover the entirety of your face. And even so, he was so delicate. You were blushing but to him, this was just an act of simple chivalry.

"And here, I recommend this book-"

WHAM!

You both heard the sounds of books falling and immediately hurried to the other aisle of the bookshelf. There you found a student you both knew very well. Someone who was very perceptive of things and people.

"Armin, are you alright?" You say as you bend down to help him stand up. A couple of books were on the floor and to that, Erwin picked them up.

"Yes, I am sorry to interrupt!" Armin says as he tries to act calm, as he tries to come up with an excuse to get out of there as soon as possible. "I was just looking for a book and-"

"You weren't interrupting anything Armin, Ms.y/l and I were just talking," Erwin says as he hands out the books to Armin who accepts them awkwardly. "Actually, we were just talking about tonight's football game, your friend Jean would be playing ... Would you go see him-"

But before he could articulate a question, the bell rings meaning that lunch was over.

"I am sorry Mr. Smith but I really have to get to class ... See you in 8th period!"

And with that, Armin Arlet left, very confused and with a little bit more information about the history professor and the art teacher.

"Well, that was strange," you say as you go back to look at Erwin. You were also trying to say your goodbyes since you will be having class pretty soon. "Anyways, it was nice talking to you Erwin. I'll see you tonight."

"Oh, yes but here, you should read this book," Erwin hands over a brown book, over 400 pages thick, and the title was written with beautiful cursive golden letters.

 _"One Last Time?"_ you say as you accepted the book with your hands, it was soft to the touch. "What is it about?"

"It's my favorite romance book," Erwin says. "It's a fantasy book, about people living inside enormous walls and they can't go out because, outside the walls, there are titans. Tall and horrible looking humans that eat people."

"And among all that chaos, a tavern dancer who falls in love with military Captain, also known as humanity's strongest soldier," Erwin looks at you and he knew that you might be confused at such a strange story plot. "I know it sounds crazy but the romance is very well developed."

"Thank you, Erwin," you took a moment to look at the book and then up at Erwin again. And as you saw his beautiful blue eyes, you know exactly why Levi was so in love with this man.

"I think I will love this book."

.

.

.

It was game night.

The loud noises, the chewing of people eating hot dogs and popcorn. Dads wearing caps even though it was night time, mothers holding into their child, and students who cheered for their team even when they weren't out yet.

It was strange you felt nostalgic at the situation and you weren't from this city, actually, your home town was a couple of hours away from here. But now that you think this must be your first football game. In high school, you didn't dare to even think about going to a football game because the few friends you had didn't want to go either. And of course, because of your bullies.

"Well, it surely brings back memories."

You turn around to find Nicholas next to you, you weren't surprised after all you were the one who invited him in the first place.

He was still as handsome as ever, around six feet tall, maybe a little taller. Curly red hair that shone like flames, his long hair was tied on a half ponytail, allowing you to see his perfect square jawline. His dark blue eyes could compete with a fiery ocean and you found yourself counting the small freckles in his cheeks.

"Good ones or bad ones?" you ask as you two start to walk towards the vending shops. The game would be starting soon and you wanted something to eat while watching it.

"Both ... bad because now that I think about it, I never brought you to a football game as a date," Nicholas says. "And good because I remember kissing you a lot behind the football bleachers."

You blushed a little and smiled "It was so nasty, remember that one time someone spilled coke on us? And that hot dog?"

"Yes! And that time we-"

"Excuse me?"

You and Nicholas turned around at the sound of a soft voice. Now, you were a little surprised.

Levi.

The short man looked a little bit strange, he was wearing blue jeans with a simple white shirt and a black leather jacket. His hair looked groomed, very well-groomed, maybe too much. As if he was trying to look as fashionable as he could but was failing at it.

He looked nervous and even hesitant and his eyes looked from side to side.

"Levi, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you mentioned the football game and I thought you wanted me to come with you-" Levi quickly eyes Nicholas next to you, he was eating on a lollipop looking down at him and he had to admit that he was a handsome man, but to Levi, Erwin was better looking.

"But it seems like you have a better company, I think I should go."

Levi felt pathetic. Especially because he actually tried to look 'good' today. He put on his best clothes and even groomed his hair with the intention that this might be a 'date.' An arranged date to make his 'fake' relationship with you 'official' to the school.

Also to make up for how rude he was to you a couple of days ago.

"Don't go!" you say as to stop him from walking away. "Why don't you join us? You came here all this way after all."

People and students walked past the three of you, all of them ready to make the line to buy some food. And it was starting to become awkward because Levi seemed hesitant.

"Yeah, don't you join us?" Nicholas asks with a smile. "My name is Nichola's Flaherty, I am y/n's old-time friend and ex-boyfriend."

_"Ex-boyfriend?"_

Nicholas extended out a hand as he waited for Levi to take it. He was slow and hesitant but slowly he grabs the tall man's hand. You watched Levi's movements and you started to feel bad for Levi because he didn't seem comfortable.

"I am Levi Ackerman," he says. "I am y/n's co-worker."

"Ackerman?" Nicholas smiles as she lets go of Levi's hands. "My mother's last name is Ackerman, maybe we are even related-"

"Ah, Nicholas look!" you grab Nicholas's shirt as you pulled him away from Levi. "Cotton Candy!'

"Hey, y/l, no, you can't eat that, you know how you get when you eat too much sugar-"

"Come, Levi, let's get some food before the game starts!"

.

.

.

This was definitely not something Levi was expecting. He felt like the third wheel in between you and Nicholas. Seating on the football bleachers was something Levi didn't do often. He was one to clean them actually and as always, he would eat his lunch alone underneath them.

Now, he was watching a football game and what could have been his first date with a woman was actually not.

"So, tell me Levi ... How did you meet y/n? Are you a teacher here too?" Nicholas asks as he took a sip of his water.

Now, this was something Levi didn't want to talk about. It's not like he didn't like his job but people always looked down on him whenever he told them he worked as a janitor.

"No, I am a janitor," Levi says as he takes a quick look at you. Although you seemed to be paying attention to the game, you were actually listening to the conversation. "I went to clean her classroom one afternoon and she was there."

"Oh, I bet she made a mess!" Nicholas teased you a little as he gives a small punch to your shoulder with his own. "One time she painted me for a class project and she ended up pouring paint all over me."

"You are never gonna let that go are you?" You say as you rolled your eyes. "All of that paint waisted just for me to get zero on that project."

"You should have known better than to paint me naked," Nicholas lets out a small laugh as he remembered the hours he spends laying o a sofa naked just so his ex-girlfriend could finish her painting. "And you didn't pay me for my modeling services too! You know I charge!"

"I gave you the painting didn't I? Isn't that enough-"

"Y/n!"

Levi interrupts the conversation as he stands up and for the first time, you see fierce blue eyes. "Can I talk to you for a second? In private?"

You nodded and stood up, walking down the bleachers as Levi followed you.

The people were too invested in the game and even you had to admit that although football wasn't one of your favorite sports, it was still fun to see your students play. Not only that but it was about to be half time soon and you wanted to see the dance team perform, especially because you were the one who coordinated everything.

Levi walked in front of you and grabbed you by the wrist, not in a harmful manner but you were still surprised that he looked so confident at the moment. Not too long ago he was a man who tried to commit suicide, and not he looked different. Not confident but it was something else.

"Behind the bleachers? What are we? In high school?"

The bleachers during football games were nasty and in the back, where the trash was leftover, it was nastier. There was loud talking, laughter, and even screams from time to time.

"Seriously, why are we here-"

And then you saw it in his face.

Levi looked scared, terrified as if something hurt him as if his heart had been pierced but there was no blood. He fell to his knees as he started to breathe heavily, pulling his hair out of desperation and it was an ugly sight. Because it hurts you too, to see him like this.

You bent down as you placed your arms around him, placing his head on your chest so Levi could hear the rhythm of your heart.

He was having a panic attack, it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

It took Levi a few minutes before he could calm down. He was still agitated and was trying to catch his breath. He took a moment to look up to you and your eyes meet his. It calmed him that you were here with him and it was also a big step for him.

No one had seen him in such a state before and he was glad that you didn't panic nor was scared to see him like that.

You held him in your arms gently and hoped that you both could stay like this for a long time. You took a quick sniff of his hair and it smells incredibly good. He smells like apples and soap, you didn't know if you should let him go now.

Opening up your arms a little, you thought that Levi would want to separate now. But the moment you detached your arms from him, he immediately wrapped his hands around you. Not wanting to let go, not wanting to miss the warmth of your body.

In a desperate need of having your body against him, begging blue eyes that shone regardless of the dark.

And for a small moment ... time ceased to exist. The loud noises of the crowd, the running, and screaming of the football players, the stares of the students that were passing by. Nothing existed.

Just you and him.

And the moment your eyes met his, as you began to drown yourself in the ocean of his blue eyes ... You knew that there was no turning back.

It wasn't love, at least not now, but the need to help him.

The need to protect this man, to make him happy. Because at the moment, there was nothing more that you wanted but to protect him.

As if an electric shock had run through your body as if your body had awaked from a deep slumber. Something strong had raised inside of you.

Everything became clear, your actions and senses, you knew what to do with each and everyone one of them.

Everything just to protect this man.

Levi had his face very close to yours and he wondered if you were going to kiss him.

He just stood there because although he didn't mind kissing you, he still didn't know if you wanted.

Because if you were to kiss him ... What would that mean?

Pretending to date each other was only when there were people around but right now, you two were alone.

_"And why would I want to kiss her? I love Erwin not her-"_

But the moment Levi looked into your eyes, he knew very well that something else was growing inside of him.

"Am I interrupting?"

The moment was broken as you heard a man's voice coming from the other side of the bleachers.

Erwin Smith started to walk towards the couple, still in a very compromising situation.

"You two are very good," Erwin says. "For a moment I really thought you two were in love."

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.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another ugly draft, no revision was done.
> 
> A new chapter to finish this year. I hope you all enjoyed it.
> 
> I introduced a new character, 'Nicholas Flaherty' I love him very much so please be nice to him. He is your bff and ex-boyfriend lol. I sometimes don't feel motivated to continue this, not because I don't have an idea where to take this. It's more like I feel like not a lot of people like this. Kinda makes me question if I am even a good writer lol.
> 
> Anyways, like always, if anyone reads this, thank you.


	4. Teacup

**_Levi_ **

_He kissed me out of nowhere._

_And it wasn't a simple kiss to me, it was my first kiss. He had stolen it and I was glad it was him, it was Erwin._

_No one was at school and we were in the restroom, the one that I was supposed to be cleaning. But instead, I was moaning his name while he began to take off my clothes. I soon felt his strong hands unzip my pants and take out my penis. Erwin's hand covered it all and began to massage it._

_This felt completely different to me. Because although I had masturbated before, no one has ever done it for me_

_And as I got lost in his beautiful sky blue eyes, I knew I was going to lose my virginity right there._

_Because I had never been with a man before, much less a woman._

_Erwin asked me if it was ok, and I said yes._

_At that time, I didn't tell him that I was a virgin. Even now, I think that he still doesn't know that I gave my virginity to him, maybe he suspects it, I don't know._

_I thought I would enjoy it and I did ... But why did I feel so empty after we finished?_

_Was it because I lost my virginity at a restroom? Is it because after we finished, Erwin just left?_

_I don't know ... but even now, even today ..._

_I still feel dirty._

_._

_._

_._

"Are you alright Levi?"

Your voice made Levi snap out of his thoughts. He didn't know why he was thinking about that right now, especially since he was with you.

Today, the two of you decided to go on a _'date'_ Levi didn't want to go but he still felt that he was deeply in your debt.

But it was strange too, you two weren't the best of friends. Just co-workers and you hoped that date could break down a few walls in between you two.

"Yeah, sorry I was just spacing out," he says. "But tell me ... Why did you bring me to this place?"

You didn't want to be obvious, much less rude to Levi. But even he should know that you brought him to this place for obvious reasons.

"Hey, the perfect date is therapy!" you say as you smile. You look around the waiting room, this was a place that you knew very well. You had been here a couple of times before. "Talking to someone is always good."

"I don't need therapy," Levi looks at you and he knew that his response wasn't the best. It wasn't that he didn't need therapy, there was a reason why he didn't want to come but he was very embarrassed to say so.

"... I am sorry, I can't afford a therapist."

He looks away as he didn't want to see you, but you could try and bring him some comfort. Sitting next to him, you gave him a small path on his back and slowly caressed it.

"There's nothing to worry about, everything is paid for!"

"What?" Levi looks back at you in surprise and the moment you meet his ocean eyes, you felt heat going to your cheeks. "...Are you paying this for me too? I don't need you to do that!"

You remember the night you took Levi to the hospital, the day he tried to commit suicide. It was a night you didn't want to remember nor make Levi remember. "Don't worry about it, my friend is a therapist and she won't charge you ... She is really nice, so you will be in good hands."

"Mr. Levi Ackerman?"

Levi and you heard the receptionist call Levi's name. At that, the two of you stand up, and almost with a plea, Levi's eyes said it all. It was as if he was begging for you to come with him as if he was scared of being left alone.

But even you knew that this was something he needed to face by himself.

"You will be fine, I promise," you say as you try to reassure him. "I'll be back to pick you up in an hour."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll go visit Nicholas at his bakery, I'll bring you some cupcakes from there."

Levi stood quiet for a moment as if there was something he wanted to tell you but couldn't find the words. He seemed hesitant and even annoyed but he only sighed and looked away.

"Fine."

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.

.

**_Erwin._ **

_I have to admit that when I looked at them being so close, I felt terrified._

_And I thought of declaring my love for Levi right there, just to make it clear._

_That no one should ever have him but me._

_Why do I even feel jealous? When I know that my relationship with Levi is nothing more but just a relationship based on lust._

_Because there's this woman ... Who I deeply love._

_I met her last year at the annual teacher conference. Every year, teachers from kindergarten to high school meet since we are all under the same district. It's not only Titan high school, there is Titan Jr. High and Titan Elementary School._

_And I met her there, she is a kindergarten professor. Her name is Marie. I never believed in love at first sight, but the moment my eyes met hers, I just knew._

_I knew that I was blessed the universe allowed me to live in the same time period as her._

_And as I talked to her more, the more I would fall for her. And everything I've done, it's for her. I made myself the promise that the moment I become principal of Titan Highschool, I will court her._

_Because right now, a mere teacher is not worthy of her. Being a principal won't change much either, but at least it will allow me to offer her more stability, maybe I can impress her._

_And I know I am being cruel._

_Cruel towards Levi because I am making him do all these things. I wanted Levi to date a woman, not because I couldn't do it, But because I didn't want Marie knowing I was seeing someone else._

_But to be honest ... I don't even know at this point either._

_Because I am enjoying too much the relationship I have with Levi._

_Maybe too much._

_Maybe ... Just maybe ... I love him too._

.

.

.

Levi began to feel a little bit anxious when ten minutes have passed and you haven't shown up to pick him up yet. The therapy session had gone well, Maria's friend, Leah, seemed like a reliable person. Levi was glad that Leah didn't ask too many personal questions at the beginning, after all, Levi wasn't one to open up to people too fast and the therapist had seemed to pick up on that.

And now that he was done for today, he slightly felt better, if it wasn't because you were making him wait.

"I am here!"

Levi turns to look at you coming towards him. You looked agitated, your clothes looked wrinkled and loose, your hair a bit of a mess and you were out of breath.

"Sorry, I am late, how did everything go?"

But Levi didn't answer your question as he stood up from his chair and began to look at you, up and down. You had to admit that you felt nervous at his act but just followed along.

Levi inspected every single little thing about you. Your skirt that was crooked, the blouse that had a couple of buttons popped out, you agitated respiration.

A damn hickey that was on your neck.

"It went fine," Levi says as he walks past you.

He wasn't stupid, he knew very well what you were doing an hour ago and with who.

And he didn't know why ... But it made him angry.

"Well, that's good to hear," you say as you followed him closely. He looked angry and you didn't even know why. Walking past the exit door, and finally getting some fresh air, you tried your best to catch up to him, he was a fast walker. Either that or he was just plain angry.

"Are you sure everything went fine? You seemed a bit angry."

"Yes, it went fine,"

Levi kept talking on the side of the street as he passed a few restaurants and cafes. He had nowhere in particular to go, he was just walking for the sake of it.

"Ah good, well then, I was thinking ... Do you want to go to the carnival?"

At your question Levi stops walking, he turns around to look at you, and although you seemed more relaxed, the scene still bothered him.

_"I shouldn't care, she can sleep with whoever she wants ... but why does it bother me?"_

"No," Levi says.

"Why not?"

"Why don't you invite Nicholas instead? I am sure he would love to go with you."

It went quiet. And the only thing that could be heard was the wind, a few tweets of birds, and the chatter of the people in the nearby cafes.

You were wondering if it was that obvious that you were intimate with Nicholas just an hour ago. Maybe it was the clothes or that because you were out of breath ... Or maybe because you reeked of his cologne.

"... But I want to go with you."

For fucks sake.

Now Levi felt guilty and angry. Guilty because he didn't want to make you feel sad nor embarrassed, after all, there was literally nothing attaching you to him. And he felt angry because he didn't know why the fuck he was feeling that way. Why was he angry that you had a hickey? It was just a hickey, come on.

Levi began to take off his black jacket and with one movement he threw it at you. Now you had it in your hands and you looked at him with wonder.

"Wear that and I go with you, don't take it off."

You didn't know why but you still decided to accept the offer. Levi on the other hand thought that as long as he doesn't see the hickey, he will be able to make it through the night.

"Let's get this over with."

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.

.

The carnival was only in the city once a month for two days, on the weekends only. It was organized by the city and it was a great opportunity for high school students to volunteer so they could enhance their university applications.

"I hate selling tickets! Couldn't we be assigned to another stand?" Eren says as he looks over to Armin who had just handle out some tickets to some customers. "Mikasa got to manage the hunted house, why couldn't we be with her?"

"Because if you hadn't taken up so long to finish the science test, we could have gotten to the billboard and signed for a better boot," Armin replied with a little bit of sarcasm.

"It's not my fault that Ms. Hange is making her test more difficult!" Eren replied.

"They are not difficult, it's you that you don't study-"

"Hi! Can we have two entrance tickets-" you stopped mid-sentence as you recognized the two boys selling the tickets. They were two of your students. "Eren, Armin! What are you two doing here?"

"Ms.y/l! It's nice to see you here, we are volunteering!" Eren smiles at you, you were one of his favorite teachers, if not the favorite.

"Ah, college applications, right?"

"Yeah, they can be a pain in the butt,"

"Eren! Show some respect," Armin says as he elbows his best friend, Armin looks back at you and smile. "Sorry for that Ms. y/l."

"Don't worry, as long as we are off school ground it should be fine," you smiled back at them. They were an inseparable duo, well trio but Mikasa wasn't here at the moment.

"Well, let me get you two tickets for you and-" Armin expected to see someone else, someone he didn't know. Maybe a boyfriend or a husband but instead it was the janitor. "For you and ... Mr. Ackerman."

"Ah, yes, Mr. Ackerman is my date for the night-"

"What about Mr. Smith-"

Eren stopped mid-sentence as he felt Armin's strong gaze on him. The blond boy had told Eren about the accident a few days ago in the library. Armin had you and Erwin in a rather compromising situation and although nothing had happened, to the eyes of the blond boy, it wasn't' like that.

"Mr. Smith left us homework! I forgot to do it!" Eren quickly came up with an excuse and although Levi was listening to everything, he was still a bit suspicious about the boy's sudden change of attitude.

You also decided to let it go, you were too excited and wanted to eat as much sugar as your heart pleases. You didn't want to admit it but although this wasn't actually a date, it was nice to spend this time with someone.

"Don't worry, I'll help you finish it!" Armin says as he hands out the two tickets. "Have fun Ms. y/l and Mr. Ackerman!"

.

.

.

This wasn't Levi's favorite place, actually, it was all the contrary. For a moment he felt like just disappearing on you. But the moment he took a look at your face, your eyes that shone beautifully, your smile, and how excited you look, he knew that he just couldn't leave.

If his company, as gloomy as it was, made you happy then he can survive the night.

If he was being completely honest, he doesn't' have the fondest of memories. Levi remembers coming to a carnival once with his mother before she passed away. He had a routine to come whenever it opened, just as a way to honor his mother.

But in his freshman year of high school, kids would just be cruel. One of Levi's bullies locked him inside a darkroom in the haunted house and it took for the carnival to close for someone to be able to find him.

He was there for two days, in the dark. Maybe that's why he is scared of the dark and of small spaces.

Levi learned one important thing that day ... That absolutely no one cared about him.

"So, what do you want to do first?" You ask as you smiled at the short man. "We ride a roller coaster, or go to the house of mirrors! Oh, I also want to go to the ferry wheel!"

However, Levi seemed to not be paying attention at all. He was looking away at another carnival stand. An arm wrestle contest was happening and there were a lot of people around.

"Come joins now! Whoever gets to beat our champion, big James, gets to take home this antique teacup evaluated over more than a thousand dollars!"

_"Oh, this should be interesting."_

You grab Levi by the hand, almost dragging him to the stand. "Let's participate and win that teacup!"

"Are you crazy? There's no way we are going to win against that guy," Levi takes a quick look at the man sitting on a table. He was buff, very strong and Levi was sure that if he wanted, he could break someone's bone. "Let's just go somewhere else-"

"I'll participate!" you say out loud as the presenter and the crowd looks at you. Funny faces and weird looks, no one believed in you and even Levi was a bit embarrassed about the whole situation. Why even participate when there was no way, you would win?

"Well, we have a brave young lady!" the presenter says as he lets out a small laugh. "Very well, if you win, you will take this teacup with you."

You sat at the table where 'Big James' sat in front of you. He also had a mocking face. "Don't worry little girl, I'll make this quick for you, the humiliation won't be for long."

"I say the same thing to you," you smiled as you grabbed his strong hand. You stared at him in the eyes, confident about your strength. "I'll try not to hurt you too much."

"You have guts, I'll give you that!"

"Alright, in one ... two ... three and," the presenter takes a pause. "Go!"

Everyone expected this to be over quickly but everyone was surprised the moment that Big James tried to move his hand and he couldn't. His hand trembles against yours and you only looked at him with a smile.

"You can use both of your hands if you want, I don't mind," you say as James tried with all of his force to make your hand bend, but nothing was happening and you weren't even sweating. "Well, let's make this fast."

And with one movement, big Jame's hand landed on the table, breaking it. You had used a great force as the big guy ended up on the ground. And if everything was quiet before, now it was completely silent.

Even Levi was in shock, he remembers you telling him that you were strong. But he never imagined for you to be this strong.

You walked over to the presenter who had his mouth open and very fast you took the beautiful teacup out of his hands and walked away from him.

Walking back towards Levi, you were a bit pleased that you had left him speechless.

"Here, for you darling," you say as you hand out Levi the teacup and he delicately accepted it. "Let's get some funnel cakes now!"

.

.

.

"And the way you flipped him over and broke the table was incredible!" Levi rambles. "Everyone was left speechless!"

Now you two were on the ferries wheel, the night about to end. It was an enjoyable night, even for Levi. After getting in multiple rides and eating like crazy, he had to admit that this was the most fun he has ever had.

Especially since he got a teacup.

"What matters is that I got you that teacup!" you say as you enjoyed the soft movement of the ferries wheel going up. "You seem to have a like for teacups and tea ... Last time I was at your apartment, that's what I noticed the most."

_"She noticed?"_

"You should start a teacup collection!" you say. "That' should take your mind off things from time to time."

"...Maybe," Levi says as he looks down at the white teacup in his hands. He held it delicately, it was simple, yet beautiful. The white porcelain was beautiful, Levi had never seen anything like it. As he inspected the teacup more and more he found out that there were golden letters engraved on the cup's handle.

**_"To Levi, enjoy every day as if it was your one last time."_ **

You were busy looking outside the window and enjoying the scenery. But the moment you noticed that Levi was too quiet, you decided to turn around and check on him.

Sitting next to you, Levi Ackerman was crying.

Completely in tears.

"Levi, are you alright? What's wrong?" You began to panic as you didn't know what had triggered him to cry to this extent.

"I am fine ... it's just that this teacup," Levi tried his best to contain his tears. But his heartfelt was filled with emotions he couldn't describe. "I feel like someone has already given me this cup before."

Levi knew that it didn't make sense, that nothing was making sense at all. But his heart feels like breaking and also as it had finally found the thing he was looking for so long.

"I've been looking for this for so long, on so many occasions before ...I miss her so much," and this time, it was wasn't Levi talking. His mind just spoke whatever it desired and his heart dictated each word. "I miss her so much, she must be worried about me, I need to find her!"

And as more tears came out, Levi held onto the cup dearly as if his whole life depended on it, as if his sole reason for living was to protect the teacup in his hands.

You got closer to him and you tried to make sense of the sentences he was saying.

"She's out there ... waiting for me, Maria is waiting for me."

 _"Maria? Who is he talking about?"_ you thought.

Levi's voice breaks and although he didn't know why he was even crying, he wasn't scared. He could almost picture the person he was craving to look for. Pretty dresses and beautiful long hair, a face he couldn't see, beautiful laughter, and the smell of lavender.

All of this time, Levi never really had a reason to live.

But at this moment, at this time, as he held in his hands the gift his past lover gave him ... He couldn't think about dying. Death can go to hell for now.

Death can wait until the moment Levi meets her again

"Thank you ... I finally have something to remember her ... thank you, thank you so much."

As the cart on the ferries wheel gets to the top, Levi embraces you. His body against yours, you could feel the heat radiating off his body. His natural smell filled your nostrils, almost too intoxicating.

It was as if someone else had overtaken Levi's body and although you were a bit scared of his sudden mood change, you didn't mind.

It felt nice to have him like this. His arms around you as if life depended on it as if time had stopped. As if the entire world had stopped working just so the two of you could share this moment.

And as Levi separated from you, your eyes met his. Dark, ocean blue eyes. You had seen many beautiful things before, beautiful sceneries, beautiful paintings.

But as your face began to get closer to his, as your eyes got lost in the depths of his blue eyes ... You knew that no panting, no sculpture, no natural creation could ever compare to Levi's blue eyes.

And for a moment, for the smallest of a fraction.

It wasn't Levi there with you anymore.

And although you never saw his face, although you only dreamt of him once. You just knew that the man in front of you ...

was the same man you saw in your dreams all of those years ago.

And unintentionally, without any control of each other's bodies, the two past lovers knew what was going to happen.

After so many decades of being apart ... after 200 years ...

The lost lovers share a kiss.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not me crying after writing the last scene.
> 
> I can just imagine Levi's past lives trying to look for Maria and never being able to find her until this time period and the thought makes me sad.
> 
> Also, Levi being reunited with the teacup Maria gave him makes me cry my eyes out. (Because we know what happens to that teacup)
> 
> So, if you haven't noticed, this has a lot of parallels to my main story One Last Time.
> 
> I think that people who have read that story will definitely find this fanfiction more impactful and way more emotional.
> 
> As I've said before, this story is a DRAFT story that I am giving the people who enjoy Levi x Reader stories. In this one, you are playing the role of 'Maria' my OC, and Levi's past lover.
> 
> You can say that you are kinda like the 'reincarnation' of her. Or maybe not, I am still debating on that.
> 
> I feel like this story will never be able to reach its full potential because a part of me doesn't like Levi x Reader stories. If I was fully invested in this story, I would write 10k word chapters every week just like I did with One Last Time lol.
> 
> Hopefully, after I finish writing this story, I can like Levi x Reader stories but for now, I can't find myself doing so.
> 
> Anyway, I am not saying this to promote my Levi x OC story, but I wholeheartedly recommend you to read One Last Time (Which it's finished and you can find in my profile) if you want to fully enjoy this story.
> 
> There are going to be a lot of references from that story and to understand Levi's feelings, later on, it's better if you read it lol.
> 
> I want to thank the people who have ready this story haha, honestly I wasn't expecting any kind of support at all because this is a draft story. There are so many mistakes already but right now I am just writing this for the sake of it and that's kind of fun.
> 
> Somehow I feel like this story will be more popular than my OC story one, probably because this is a Levi X Reader and people prefer them over OCs. Honestly, if it does, I'll be disappointed because this is trash compare to One Last Time haha.
> 
> But I am always thankful for all the support, kudos, and lovely comments. They always inspired me to keep writing and although these chapters are shorter, I do enjoy writing them, and writing about Levi its always fun!
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much, and see you all next week.


	5. Breaking Tension

_Do you think she is going out with both?"_

_"Why the hell would she go with the janitor when professor Smith is literally so hot!"_

_"Nevermind that! Didn't someone found the janitor giving a blow job to professor Smith not too long ago?"_

Armin wasn't expecting the rumors to become like this. The last thing he wanted was to give his teachers any kind of trouble at all. Now he regrets telling Eren about seeing the art teacher with professor Smith at the library the day of the football game.

"Eren I told you not to tell anyone," Armin whispers to Eren who sat next to him in science class. Currently, professor Hange was talking about ... something that to do with chemicals. Armin was too worried about the rumors that he could not pay attention in class.

"Sorry, it just slipped! I think I only told Reiner," Eren whispers back, he also wasn't paying attention, not like did not want to but Armin getting angry at him was something he did not want. "Then Reiner told Christa, who told Ymir who told Sasha who told Connie who told Jean-"

"Mr. Jaegar!"

The teacher's voice caught Eren off guard but he immediately stood up from his seat and answered,

"The Great Titan War started 2000 years ago!"

"... This is chemistry, Mr. Jaegar."

"Oh," Eren said as he felt heat going up to her cheeks, that fact was the only thing he knew and it was from history. "I am sorry Ms. Zoe."

And after the bell ran, Armin and Eren did not hesitate to talk in the hallways. Students would chatter as they walk to their next class. Laughter and footsteps, even the yelling of teachers to tell their students to hurry up.

"We have to do something! Not only is it wrong to spread rumors but they are going to know it's me the one who told on them!" the blond boy walks next to Eren.

"We will just tell everyone to stop talking about them," Eren says. "You worry too much."

"I worry because if we are not they can be fired! Do you know what happened to our freshman teachers who were caught kissing? They fired them and I don't want Ms. y/l and Mr. Smith to-"

Tragically, Armin never finished his sentence as he had stumbled upon someone.

The short man was cleaning the floor with a cloth and by hand since someone had spilled a soda and it was one of those that was hard to take off from the floor.

The blond boy was on the floor but as soon as he realized who he had stumbled upon, he immediately apologized.

"I am sorry Mr. Ackerman!"

.

.

.

**_Levi_ **

_All my life ... I have never felt love._

_I don't know such a thing and to be honest, at first, I thought that I didn't need it._

_I didn't want it, I didn't crave for it._

_Until I learned that there are different types of love. The type of love you have for family, a lover, a friend, the love you have for yourself._

_All of them important ... and I realized ... That I never felt love._

_No one ever loved me._

_My mother died when I was 15 and tragically, I don't even remember her voice anymore and now that I think about it ... I only have one picture of her._

_Maybe I have other family members, I remember Kenny too. But my mother was one that didn't like for me to interact with my other family members, whatever that reason was._

_And eventually, I never interacted with my family. They most have forgotten about me, just like I have forgotten about them._

_I thought that love wasn't for me, that I didn't need it._

_Until Erwin Smith happened._

_The more time I spent with him, the more I slept with him ... The more I craved for more than just touches. I wanted to love ... I wanted true affection, I craved for intimacy._

_I craved for his love._

_I want to love him and I want the same thing in return._

_But it never happened._

_It never will._

_Because someone else was in his heart._

_I was a fool to ever think that I was worthy of love. All I ever wanted was to love someone and to be loved. I was stupid to think that someone as useless as me could ever be with a good person like Erwin._

_I was never enough, never could be. I wasn't special ... I was just a mere human, occupying space on this planet._

_It's better if I die, someone as unworthy, a scum on this planet, I shouldn't be allowed to live._

_Or at least that's what I thought._

_And still think from time to time._

_But ever since I read the engraving on the white porcelain teacup ..._

_Something in me changed._

_I have a love-hate relationship with that teacup._

_Because every time I look at it my heartaches and I find myself longing for something ... someone. As if my heart is begged to be found by whoever I crave to see._

_The moment I read that sentence, I felt something I never thought possible._

_I felt loved._

_As if someone wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see them. I felt like someone was out there waiting for me, waiting for me to return to them. Someone who loves me, someone who loves me unconditionally and would do anything for me._

_That feeling overtook my heart, I felt loved. For a moment, I felt like I matter like I was worthy of respect and happiness._

_Someone was waiting for me, someone is out there. Someone who loves me completely._

_And although I have never met this person, I felt my heart break because of the thought that I was making this person wait too long._

_I didn't want them to wait, I didn't want for them to feel the same way I felt._

_I thought I had known pain before but I realized that I didn't know anything about it until now._

_I never wanted anything in my life but to meet this person. To know that they were fine and that they stayed healthy, to know that they were happy._

_I want to meet them._

_I want to see her._

_Maria._

_If I meet you, would these feelings in my heart stop? Would I be able to stop hurting myself? Will I be worthy of love?_

_But you know what? I don't think I care too much to care about those feelings._

_I want to be with you, whoever you are. I want to know you are good, I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy._

_Whenever you are ... Whoever you are ... I thank you._

_Because you gave me a reason to keep going._

.

.

.

You and Levi haven't talked since the day of the carnival.

After you two kissed, you both regarded it as an accident. It was something that just happened out of the spark of the time. And if you were completely honest, at first you thought it was like that.

Because you didn't want to kiss Levi but the man who appeared in your dreams long ago.

And for Levi, it must have been the same as he murmured the name of someone you didn't know ... someone he didn't know either apparently.

"So, things went strange uh?" Nicholas said as he placed some cookies in the oven. Currently, you were helping him bake some pastries for his bakery.

"Yes and I don't want things to be awkward between us, it was just a dumb kiss after all," you took off the mittens and placed them on the counter.

"Well from what you told me, there's a lot of tension in between you two," Nicholas smiled a little. "And you know what is the best way to break it."

You looked at him for a couple of seconds, his dark blue eyes shown a flirty look along with a sexy smile. You were thankful that the bakery was empty at this moment because that way no one would hear you screaming at Nicholas.

"Are you telling me that I should sleep with him?" you asked.

"Hey, that worked for us, didn't it?"

Rolling your eyes and with an angry look, you wanted to punch Nicholas in the face. Sometimes he could be too straightforward, but of course, he wasn't telling any lies.

But there was something else bothering you. It was that Nicholas was taking this very lightly.

"... And it doesn't bother you?" you look on the floor, embarrassed to see the redhead. You knew that you were probably stepping over the line, that friends with benefits relationship should only stay like this. But after you encountered him here, after years of not seeing him ... you couldn't help but think that maybe it was fate the one that brought you together.

"Sorry, it was stupid to ask such a thing-" you were planning on walking away but Nicholas stops you as he grabs you by the arm. He has you against the counter, his handsome face close to yours.

"Of course I care ... But what can I do if you are not my girlfriend?" Nicholas begins to move his body closer to yours. "I'll be whatever you want me to be, a fuck buddy, a lover, a friend ... a boyfriend."

He closes the gap as he has you against his firm chest, your body touching his and for a moment you thought your heart would explode. Heat rasing up to your cheeks. Nicholas whispers in your ear, his seductive voice that made your knees go weak.

"It's up to you to decide ... I don't care who you sleep with. Sleep with as many men as you want," he says. "At the end, I know that you will come back to me, begging for more."

.

.

.

Why doesn't it feel right anymore?

Even when Levi was screaming his name at the top of his lungs just a moment ago as he thought that sex couldn't get better than this, it just didn't feel right anymore.

Erwin was a man that put Levi's pleasure first. Always making him cum whenever he could. Picking him up till the point that Levi's feet couldn't reach the ground, using him like a doll.

Tears of pleasure and exasperated moans, Levi begging him to let him finish as Erwin swallowed it all in one gulp.

The sex today was amazing, just like always.

But why is it that it felt wrong?

Oh yes, because Levi couldn't stop thinking of the damn cup.

"You don't seem like yourself, everything alright?"

It was strange for Levi to hear Erwin ask him about his well being. Especially after he had just almost fainted and collapsed out of pleasure. He was tired and feeling a little bit down, but somehow or another, Levi didn't feel like telling him that.

"No, homecoming is in two weeks, I was thinking about all the cleaning I had to do afterward," Levi lied as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking down to see his clothes on the floor.

"I see," Erwin whispers more to himself as he watches Levi pick up his clothes. It had gone quiet.

It was strange how after how intimate they are in sex, they could go turn back into acting like being strangers.

"About the whole dating scam," Erwin says out of nowhere but decided that right now it was the best time to speak. "I am sorry you have to endure that, as soon as the principal is done with his inspections, you don't have to do that anymore ... I am sure I will turn to be the next principal."

"It's not really a hassle after y/n accepted to go along our plan, I don't have to pretend to like or so," Levi began to put on his black pants as he wonders how in the hell was he able to stand up. Not like he cared too much. "We are planning to make our _'relationship'_ public during homecoming, maybe kiss again in front of everyone or hold hands in front of the teachers and students-"

"Again?" Erwin asks.

"Again what?"

"You said maybe kiss again," Erwin was on the other side of the bed, his body covered with blankets and he watched Levi change back to his clothes. "You two have kissed before?"

Shit. Levi sometimes hated how perceptive Erwin was, he always had to be careful with the things he would say. Now he was taking too long to answer and he didn't know just what to say at the moment.

His dark blue eyes met his bright blue ones and just with that Erwin already knew the answer to his question.

"... Levi, do you love me?"

Now, that was something Levi wasn't expecting at all.

He had never told Erwin openly about his love for him. The heat was going up to his cheeks and he felt his hands sweat, a few seconds passed but it seems like an eternity since he looked at him in the eyes.

"I am sorry, you don't have to answer that," Erwin says as he lets out a heavy sigh.

Levi felt relieved for a second but as he was about to finish buttoning up his white shirt, Erwin told him one last thing.

"I just want you to know that I do have strong feelings for you."

.

.

.

Did Erwin really have to say that?

Because right now it was the only thing going through his head.

Even after a week had passed, he still couldn't stop thinking about it.

Now, as usual, he was eating a sandwich alone under the football bleachers. He had no place to eat and the teacher's lounge was out of the question. After all, what was a janitor going to be doing there?

It wasn't as horrible as it sounds, at least he could be alone from all the chaos that was going around inside the school.

"Mr. Ackerman!"

A young voice interrupted Levi's voice. It was strange that someone knew his name at all. As he turned to his side, he noticed a blond boy coming his way. He had met this boy before a few days ago, Armin, was his name.

"I am glad to found you here!" Armin says as he was finally front to front with the short janitor.

"Is there something that needs to be cleaned? Levi immediately asks.

"No, nothing like that! Actually, we have something to show you!"

_"We?"_

"Please follow me!" Armin says.

And without much retaliation, Levi followed the young one. He took him through the corridors of the school, to a place where Levi knew very well.

The second floor was the science section, there were small storage rooms for the teachers to put their equipment. Levi remembers cleaning the whole beakers once during the whole night too.

Armin makes a stop as they stop in front of one of those storage rooms and as he opened the door, Levi expected to see something broken or something that he needed to clean but ... Not this.

"Surprise!"

It must have been the quietest 'surprise' Levi has heard, but also the first one. He looks around the storage room, it was no longer a storage room but a nice, small looking office.

A bookshelf decorates the right wall and next to it a wooden desk. A window that showed the outside the basketball field under them. There were also a few plants hanging from the ceiling and on the ground.

But what caught Levi the most was the paintings on the walls.

There was a cartoon version of him, badly drawn. Holding a mop with one of his hands and with the other he held a bucket of water. He had a smile as a few teachers he knew and students surrounded him as the school was in the background.

It was so ugly that it hurt, so ugly that it was cute because they really tried to make it look good.

"We are not the best painters, but we tried,"

Levi turns around and finds a brunette boy. He had seen him before since he was Armin's friend. His name was Eren and then next to him the girl that always followed him, Mikasa who had a neutral face in all of this.

"Ms. y/ln asked us if we wanted to participate in helping you getting an office," Armin says. "And we decided to participate."

"Yes, we needed the points since Eren wasn't passing-" Mikasa says but then Eren interrupts her.

"Mikasa, you don't have to say that!"

Armin just let out a tired laugh and he went back to talking to Mr. Ackerman.

"But Ms. y/ln really did most of the work, she stayed various nights here alone to finish cleaning up and she even lent us use her paint."

"Oh, really?"

Levi felt something in his stomach, like butterflies going around. It was a feeling he didn't know, he disliked it but didn't hate it either.

"Yes, but she told us not to tell you ... But she worked really hard and I think she deserves some of the credit."

A few seconds of silence passed and to that, Armin proceed. "Anyways, we are very thankful for everything you do for us, Mr. Ackerman."

"What do you mean?"

"I've noticed that you always clean the beakers and tubes even when no one uses them," Armin replies as this gets the attention of his two other friends.

"Yeah, and like the other day you polished the football team's equipment," Eren says. "And it was very late at night too."

"Or that time you organized the band's music notes, that most have been a lot of work," Mikasa added. "Thank you for that."

Wow, what was this feeling?

It was like embarrassment but mixed with something he had long forgotten. Happiness maybe? Was he being appreciated for the first time?

Did he do a good job? His heart racing and for a moment he thought about running miles through the track field because he felt so energized at the moment.

"It's my job," Levi says as he finally could murmur some words. "But ... Thank you."

.

.

.

It was already late, Levi thought that you would be coming out of your classroom anytime soon but it wasn't like that. Classes had ended thirty minutes ago and he thought he could catch you on your way out of school. But after looking up at the school building, he noticed that light was still on and coming from your classroom's window

He knew that he was deeply in your debt, not only that but he was deeply touched by your act of kindness. And although things have been awkward between you two since the kiss, he knew that sooner or later something must be said.

The janitor walked through the halls and as he came to a stop on the door. You were facing the window and your back was toward him.

He took small steps towards you, and you were so concentrated on the painting in front of you that you didn't notice footsteps coming closer to you.

You were twirling your brushes, combining oils of colors as you plastered them on the white canvas in front of you.

But suddenly you came to a stop, and you let out a frustrating sight. Your painting wasn't coming as you wanted it to be.

You were trying to paint a woman but her body nor facial expression were coming off right, maybe you would have to hire a model after all.

"Busy?"

You drop your brush to the floor as Levi's voice caught you by surprise. Turning around from your seat, you find him looking down at you, and after a few seconds of looking at him you turn back around to look at your painting.

"A little," you say as you pick up the brush on the floor. "What brings you here."

"Can I join you?" Levi asks and you nod as you move a little to the side to give him some place to sit. You two were awfully close but it wasn't uncomfortable.

"What are you painting?"

"A woman but I can't get ti right, the emotion is not there," you say as you hand out the brush with paint to Levi. "Here do whatever you want with it."

"What?"

For Levi, your painting was beautiful enough. The thought of destroying it was out of his mind nor he could comprehend why you would want him to do that.

"Do whatever you want with it, paint over it, destroy it ... It's gonna go in the trash anyway," you say as you at it with disappointment.

"Don't you think you are being a bit too harsh on yourself?" Levi asks as he looks at the paintbrush you gave him.

"No, if I keep painting things like this, I will never be admitted to the master's program in Paris," you say as you pick up another brush, dip it in a random color, and began to paint on the canvas. "I still have some time but you know ... it's better to prepare."

Levi stood quiet for a few seconds and as he watched destroy your own painting, he decided to follow your steps and just paint on the canvas just for the fun of it.

He wanted to say thank you for the time you took preparing his office. Nonetheless, he knew that he must keep it a secret that he knows about your involvement. After all, he promised the three kids that he will not tell you about him knowing that you participated in getting him an office.

"I got an office today," Levi says. "Some students decorated it for me."

"Well, that's good news. I am glad you finally got a place for you," you say as you dip your brush in blue and began to paint again. "You should be proud ... I know I am proud of you."

A few moments of silence passed as you two only continued painting.

"Also, I wanted to talk to you about something, maybe you can help."

This was more surprising to you, this must be the first time Levi was willing to talk to you about something that seemed personal.

"What is it?" you asked as you continued painting.

"Lately, when I haven't been enjoying sex with Erwin as much as I used to,"

Alright, maybe that was a bit too much information. Not like you minded, but it was more the fact that it hurt your feelings a little.

"And I think I know why ... it's ridiculous, but ever since you gave that teacup ... I have this new feeling in me," Levi says as he stops painting, and instead he just looks at your hands that delicately continued painting on the canvas.

"After I finish having sex with Erwin, I think about the teacup and I feel sad," he says. "I feel like I am betraying someone ... Someone I deeply care for."

"And then my mind goes to you ... And I think that a part of me ... thinks that I am betraying you."

You feel your heart skip a beat and heat going up your cheeks. Praying for everything sacred that Levi didn't notice this, you tried to pretend that you were alright but your shaking hand was giving it away.

"Maybe it's because we kissed, or because we have been spending a lot of time together lately," Levi keeps looking at you with the hope that you will stop your actions and turn around to look at him.

"I guess what I am trying to say ... Is that I cannot stop thinking about that teacup ... I can't stop thinking about you, even when I am with someone else."

And those were the words that you needed, that something indeed was going on. At first, you weren't sure if Levi had an attraction to women, but after the kiss, you were sure that he felt some type of attraction to them.

Not only that, but once in a while, you have even caught him staring at your chest, sometimes your legs. You didn't know if it was because he was curious or because he found you appealing to look but either or, he seemed to like it.

"Levi ... I am going to tell you something," you stop painting, and this time you turn your head to look at him. Your eyes meet his. "I think things between us have gotten awkward because there's some tension between us."

You couldn't believe that you were about to ask him this. A few weeks ago you had denied his request first but after talking to Nicholas for a while, this seemed like a good idea. A crazy one, but good.

"A part of me is really attracted to you and from what you told me ... a part of you is also attracted to me," you looked at him and for a moment you thought that your heart would come out of your chest. He wasn't doing anything but still, he looked so handsome. And you wonder if Levi even knew about his good looks.

"What are you trying to say?"

"What I am trying to say is that," you take a brief pause before continuing. "I would like to sleep with you ... you know ... to break the tension ...But you know, no strings attached ... I think this could help to bring us closer and be better friends even."

"How do you know this will work?"

"It worked with Nicholas."

If there was something that Levi did not appreciate, was the fact that you were sleeping with Nicholas.

Maybe you were right.

Because lately he is been having these strange feelings for you.

Levi felt attracted to you and he would be lying if he didn't say that he didn't dedicate some intimate nights to you. It was something he would never admit but he has had dreamt of you before, doing very pleasant things to him. Even from time to time in the restroom, he would masturbate and moan your name but of course, he would never admit that out loud ... never.

Maybe it was the fact that he desired you and couldn't have you that made him angry.

Maybe it was the fact that Nicholas had you all for himself while he was here, craving for some of your attention.

Maybe after he has had a taste of you, he could move on. The feeling of betrayal and desire should be gone and he would be free to enjoy sex with Erwin again.

"I am going, to be honest with you ... I have never been with a woman before ... I don't know ... how to please them," Levi says as his face gets closer to yours.

"Although I find you very attractive ... I am scared that I won't be able to reach your standards ... and I want to please you ... as much as I can."

You didn't know how he was capable of making you blush like crazy. Maybe it was his handsome face, maybe his cold but beautiful blue eyes that drive you crazy.

Maybe that it was hands and long fingers and made you wonder just how deep they could go.

"Then, let me teach you."

It was Levi's turn to blush and his pale face showed you his red colors on his cheeks.

"Are you sure?" Levi asks as his face was just a few centimeters away from your face now. A part of him felt like he was going to regret this but as he thought of Erwin's words and what he asked of him, he knew that there was no backing away now.

_"Levi if we want this to work ... I need you to do this for me."_

No strings attached, this was just sex out of pleasure nothing more nothing less. He wasn't playing with your emotions, right?

Right?

"What if we can't stop?" Levi asks as he feels your breath against his lips.

"It will only be one time ... only once just to get rid of these stupid feelings I have," it's like you were hypnotized. And you didn't care if Levi was acting quite strange at the moment. You didn't care that he was acting quite seductive at the moment, the only thing you could think of was him.

And how much you wanted to pin him against the ground and make him moan your name.

"Levi, I want to make love to you."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright so next chapter we get to the good stuff.
> 
> Finally, my abilities for wild sex scenes will come into the light lol.
> 
> So with that in mind, I will make a few announcements.
> 
> First. I have decided that y/n won't be a reincarnation of Maria (my OC) and I have a few reasons for that.
> 
> As things are headed and with how the plot is coming along, I think everyone knows that there will be a point in which Levi emotionally hurts y/n. And I think that with One Last Time, I made it more than clear that Levi could never do anything that hurts Maria.
> 
> Y/n is her own persona (Whoever that is) but she definitely has a little bit of Maria in her. Only a little.
> 
> For this story, I wanted to follow the theme of 'soul mates that follow each other through time, dimensions and different universes' and from what I remember, at some point, Levi told Maria that 'There was no part of him that could ever hurt her and that even if he was born in another universe, he would always find himself falling in love with her.'
> 
> So, yes I don't think Levi would be capable of hurting Maria, it will be out of character for him even if it was in another dimension.
> 
> Second, the sex scenes. I really respect my characters, and although OLT had a few sex scenes and some spicy stuff, we can conclude that sex is not a predominant theme of the story.
> 
> Each sex scene Levi and Maria shared represented something, different stances of their relationship and intimacy. It was unique, sweet, and passionate and it had meaning.
> 
> I don't want to reduce their sexual life to something people can jerk off to and especially I don't want to reduce it to 'casual sex'/'dirty sex'.
> 
> I created this story instead, so I could write whatever I wanted without damaging the imagine Maria and Levi's sex life had.
> 
> After the trauma Maria went through, I just don't feel comfortable writing her in that manner in this story.
> 
> But I can make explicit sex scenes now because y/n is NOT a reincarnation of Maria, so I don't feel weird lol.
> 
> Third, I have the ending of this story already planned. And making y/n the reincarnation of Maria would not be fit for the ending. And the only thing I can say is that you all will be crying ... again and maybe even more.
> 
> This brings me to my next point, this is definitely a Levi x Reader story, so don't worry, Levi will end up with the reader ... but at what cost?
> 
> I don't want to reveal too much about the ending, things can change from now on too.
> 
> As I've said multiple times, this story is a draft and I skipped many things as to not make the story too long. The pacing is not great due to those things as well.
> 
> Overall, to my lovely readers who enjoyed reading One Last Time, I don't want you all to take this story as 'canon' this by no means will ever become part of the original series.
> 
> Just take it as an independent story, like a bad story that you read in Wattpad that out of guilty pleasure.
> 
> Also once again, if you haven't read One Last Time, I highly recommend you to do so. You will DEFINITELY enjoy this story (and the ending) more if you have.
> 
> This story is for fun, for me to experiment with different writing styles, to make mistakes, make plot holes and resolve them, to better my sex-writing skills, and to explore ideas that I have in my head.
> 
> With that said, please I want you all to be kind with this story. I am putting a lot of time into writing this, I could be working on One Last Time's prequel and the sequel, but I am taking my time to write this because people seem to enjoy it.
> 
> Later on, there may be characters that I will introduce. The only thing that I won't tolerate is any type of disrespect to my characters. Yes, you may dislike them in a RESPECTFUL manner.
> 
> Please understand that I take MONTHS, MONTHS into developing a good character. It's emotionally draining reading comments that describe my characters as 'bitch' or 'slut' I don't want my characters to be reduced to that, even if they act different or this is an AU story.
> 
> I am saying this because in the future things will happen that may anger the reader.
> 
> Of course, this only applies to my original characters.
> 
> Y/N is you, so it's not really a character. It's someone you make up in your mind and how you decided to treat yourself is up to you.
> 
> Allow me to make mistakes, and write things that will make you angry, disappointed, and sad. This is the only way I'll become better and bring you better writing in the future!
> 
> Anyways, thank you for everything and thank you for reading! I hope you all continue reading this story till the very end.
> 
> See you next week!


	6. Lust and no love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: ... God, what in the world did I just write?
> 
> Anyways: Submissive Levi ahead.

It was in your apartment.

To say the least, it was comfortable for you. Having sex at your apartment was always the best option for you because it made you feel safe.

But right now it wasn't a matter of you but of Levi. You could tell that he was nervous.

His blue eyes trembled as he had a little tint of pink on his cheeks. Although Levi was not a virgin, he had never been with a woman before. It must be different or so you thought. There were many things you were unsure of but you were positive about one thing and that was that you were going to be taking the lead tonight.

_Interesting._

"Are you completely sure you want to have sex with me?" you asked as you looked down at Levi. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at the floor.

Yes, this was a completely strange situation for him. The fact that he had never been with a woman was scary enough. He was afraid that he might not be able to satisfy you, that he might not please you, and most importantly ... That because of those reasons, you might leave and his relationship with Erwin would crumble.

Levi looks up to you and you noticed that his dark blue that filled with confidence, something new to you but you also loved.

"Alright," you got down to your knees, in front of him. Never breaking eye contact with the janitor. You slowly began to unzip his pants and just by the act, Levi jumped a little. "Don't worry, it will feel nice, I promise."

Levi watched you take a better look at his underwear. He knew that they weren't sexy and he honestly regretted not bringing boxers today. He thought that you would be laughing at seeing his underwear filled with little teacup stamps.

"Levi," you said as you looked stared at his particular choice of underwear.

"I know ... Cringy, right?"

"No! They are so cute!" you said excitedly and you took off his pants and threw them across your room. Now only his teacup underwear remained. "Where did you get them? I wonder if they have some for girls."

"They do, I bought them at-" but before he could say anything, he felt your hands take off his underwear. His penis was showing and although he expected a better expression from you, he wasn't complaining.

It was strange, yes ... but it wasn't bad.

You grabbed his penis with your hand and smile a little as you noticed that by the simple act, Levi had let out the smallest of a moan. But of course, you heard.

"You have a really cute penis," you say as you began to massage it. And it really was.

It was an average size of six inches, small little veins surrounded it and you were really happy that he was circumcised. It was clean, something that you weren't surprised by, after all, Levi was a very clean man. The tip was a nice tint of pink as if it was begging to be kissed by you.

"Don't say things like that-"

This was something new for Levi. He wasn't used to be getting praised for any of his looks, especially about his dick. How sincere your voice sounded wasn't helping either.

"I am just telling you the truth," you say. "I' am going to put it in my mouth, now.

Seeing that he wasn't stopping you, you proceeded to give a small kiss to the tip of his penis. And by the act, Levi moaned a little.

Levi knew that you definitely had the experience but he didn't know you were this good. Was it even possible? Was this allowed?

He felt how your soft lips enclosed his penis, your face moving up and down in a delicate manner. Your tongue took its precious time to savor each and single centimeter of his skin and caressing the small veins in his penis.

You enjoyed seeing his expression, Levi would look up to the ceiling and down at you. Loving making eye contact with him, you wished that he would look more at you as his moans started to get louder.

Suddenly, Levi grabs your hair, pulling it up a little. He must have noticed that your hair was getting on the way and out of an act of kindness, he picked it up.

You liked how he was slowly starting to play this game. Unconsciously, he began to move your head as his fingers were entangled with your hair.

But of course, you couldn't let him have too much fun, not right now.

_Pop_

Levi noticed that you had stopped giving him pleasure and his red face almost begged you to continue. You liked that, his face, his simple mannerism of submissive.

You wanted control.

"I have a few rules," you say as you keep your eye contact. He was out of breath but he still kept his strong hand on your hair.

"What?" Levi moans out, hoping that whatever you had to say would be quick because at the moment he didn't want anything more but to cum.

"You are only allowed to cum inside of me, understand?"

You started to play with his penis, using your index finger to lightly tap the tip.

Levi was really sensitive, one more touch and he knew that he would be releasing himself on you. And although you just had asked him to only cum inside on you, he couldn't resist.

"... But it's not fair," Levi was trying his best not to moan, he thought that he must be looking pathetic but all the contrary.

To you, Levi was a very attractive man, although you had been with another attractive man before, with Levi it was different. He would let you take control of the situation, be dominant and although it wasn't your field of expertise, you couldn't say you didn't enjoy it.

"What is not fair?" you ask as you gave another small tap on his penis' pink tip. "I don't want my floor to be dirty and it will be a waste to throw away your cum ... I bet it most taste really good ... just like your dick."

It was this type of praising that drove Levi crazy. With Erwin, it wasn't usually like this. It was a simple act of pleasure and sex and he thought this was supposed to be the same.

But it was far from that, the time that you were taking to make him feel good, your confident ways, and the fact that you didn't even undress yet.

Sex with Erwin was great, amazing. But this was great too, a whole new experience and he was grateful that you were taking the lead because if it was for him, he wouldn't know what to do.

"I'll ask again ... You are only allowed to cum inside of me. In my mouth or my vagina ... don't worry, I am on birth control," you lick his six inches slowly, taking in and savoring the pre-cum. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Levi whispered as he felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Yes, what?" you ask as you began to plant around small kisses on his penis, teasing him more and more. You could see that he was pulsating, that his erected penis had become harder and he was probably controlling himself not to cum.

"I'll only come inside of you."

Levi was on the edge of begging, of wanting to put your mouth right back on his penis, he was making small movements with your hair as if he was asking you to continue.

You kiss the tip of his penis again, "Good boy."

But before you could get back to work, Levi had made his way onto your clothes.

It caught you by surprise but he had cum on your white top. Levi lets out a few exasperated moans, he hated that he didn't finish inside of your mouth and hoped that there could be another chance for your lips to make their way to his dick.

"What did I just say?"

You were expecting a sexy answer, something to keep with the good atmosphere that was going around. But instead, you found him to be quite sad. Crazy thoughts ran through your head, for the smallest of the moment you thought that he would start to cry and he was regretting his decisions.

"Levi, are you alright? I am so sorry, did I hurt you? Did I scare you-"

"No," he whispered, it was a strange scene but the intimacy created at the moment was unique. Because after this what else can he hide? After he had let himself shown at this state?

He thought he could talk easily to Erwin after the first time they had sex but he couldn't.

But somehow with you, it was different. He didn't know why not care at the moment, he just felt safe and even happy from time to time.

"I just ... can't stop this feeling," Levi lets go of your hair and he moves away. He places himself in the middle of the bed, trying to cover himself as much as he could.

"I don't know what it is ... betrayal? hate? Longing? Need?" "I just know that I want to say something ... but I can't find the words, I can't find the person."

You listen as you stood up from the floor and sat on the bed, it was strange how a few minutes ago you were giving him a blowjob and now you two were having an intimate conversation.

Yes, it was strange, but it was nice.

"I feel like I am suffocating because words are stuck in my throat but I can't say them," Levi's voice was soft, and he showed such insecurities and sadness that you wished you could take that way. "I want to find her ... If I find her ... Maybe I can have answers ... I want to find her and tell her, whatever I am supposed to say."

You could only conclude that he was talking about Maria, a woman who you nor Levi seem to not know. And still, somehow ... Why did you feel your heartsick at the thought that Levi needed her?

Who was this woman who Levi craved to see so much? Someone who he didn't know? Why did his eyes look so full of life whenever he mentioned her but at the same time they were sad?

Why couldn't he look at you like that too?

You look away as you tried to get rid of the thought. You knew that thinking like this won't be good. "Levi, we don't have to do this, you don't seem ok-"

"No! I want to do this!" the short man looks at you, his fiery dark blue eyes pierced through you and you felt the tiniest of intimidation. "This is not about me, Erwin, or you! This is about her!"

You had never seen Levi like this, all insecurities went away, his eyes were strong and there was no weakness. Just Levi Ackerman with the confidence you had never seen before.

"She wants me to live, she wants me to experience new things and live my life fully," Levi looks at you and your heart began to race.

"I want to do this because I want to live and enjoy my life as if it was my one last time!"

No words came out of your mouth.

But at this moment you knew very well what your position was in his story.

You were a bystander, something Levi would use along the way to find his meaning in life. You were no competition, you had no real special place in his heart and maybe never will.

But you didn't care, at this moment you only wanted him to feel happy.

Your feelings can go to hell, your inner suffering.

As long as he was happy, it should be ok.

It should be ok.

"Very well then," you said with a sad smile. "Shall we continue?"

Levi nodded as he took off his white shirt, revealing his nice slim body.

You began to do the same, unbuttoning your white shirt. You had forgotten that Levi's cum had landed on your shirt. Oh well, you might as well throw it away in the trash.

Taking off your skirt too, you enjoyed how Levi was looking at your movements. Every single one of them, especially when you began to take off your underwear.

First your brassier and then your panties.

Levi tried looking away but he found himself struggling to do so.

The lights of your room were dim, nothing too bright nor too dark. He could appreciate the curves and shades of your body, the light landing on the perfect spots of your body, allowing him to see just how exactly what he wanted to see.

"Do you like it?" you asked as you slowly began to make your way near him. A small blush on his face as your face began to get closer to him.

"Yes," he whispers at the thought that you two were going to kiss again. He wouldn't mind kissing you again, actually, he was craving to taste your lips again. To feel alive and to see if he would get the same sense of peace he felt last time he did.

"What do you want me to do now?" you asked seductively as you felt his heavy breathing touching your lips.

Levi was really trying, he wasn't one to speak of his desires. But he will try his best, this was a one-time thing, so he wished to make it good for you too.

"I want you to sit on my face," Levi says as he looks at your eyes. "And I want to make you cum."

You pushed him down to the bed where his bed laid delicately on the pillows. No hesitation, only your hands on the bed's headboard, Levi underneath your vagina, and eyes of desire on you.

Levi didn't know exactly what he was doing. He had never done this before, but watching porn may have helped a little.

He used his tongue to lick all over your clitoris, the folds of your vagina, and even the inside. The erotic smell coming from you was driving him crazy and he felt himself going hard again.

Meanwhile, you appreciated how much effort Levi was putting on his tongue work. Trying his hardest to make you moan as much as you can. You had to admit that he was doing a good job, it will take some time for him to learn your favorite spots but he wasn't all that bad.

And the thing you loved the most was how his blue eyes were locked on you, watching how you moaned his name. Levi loving how your legs would tremble as he tasted your juices. As he made say curse words and even pull his hair.

He wanted more, he wanted you to pull his hair, to make him yours, and to make you forget any other man you had before him.

Because although at the moment he was having sex with you because Erwin asked him to do so, he wasn't thinking of him at all. But only you.

And he could only wish you were only thinking of him as well and not about Nicholas-the lucky bastard-Flaherty.

"Let's get to the good stuff now," you remove yourself from Levi's face, loving how his lips were wet with your liquids. He looked a bit disappointed but you did not want to give him the satisfaction of making you cum, not just yet.

"I am ready, are you?"

"But, I didn't make you cum-"

"You need to be punished first," you say as you looked down at his erected penis. "I told you, you can only cum inside of me ... and you did not follow orders."

Levi passed down saliva, not knowing what to expect from you. Nonetheless, he didn't feel uncomfortable, he enjoyed the excitement. The dynamic that the two were having and the intimacy that had been built.

"I am ready ... I need a punishment," he never thought he would be saying those words. He felt heat going up against his cheeks. But he didn't care, he only cares about you jumping up and down on his erected penis and giving pleasure to the both of them.

"Good boy," you began to place yourself on top of him. "Let's do this."

Slowly, your vagina made contact with his erected penis. Your vagina's labia already embracing his penis and thanks to good tongue work, your insides were wet and ready.

You felt it going inside of you, stretching your walls little by little. Although you had been with other men before, men whose penis size was bigger, Levi felt nice too. It would do the job just fine, especially if you were the one doing the work now.

"Its all inside, how do you feel-"

You took a moment to appreciate his face. Levi was underneath you, your hands placed on his firm abdomen as he looks at you. His hands held onto your bedsheets for dear life as if he was clinging and trying for everything sacred not to let himself release inside of you, at least not yet.

His face had a small frown and his lips trembled a little, begging dark blue eyes and the messy hair you did.

"I am going to start moving," you say as Levi nodded.

With his consent, you started things slowly.

Levi didn't know that having sex with a woman could feel this good. He knew it would be pleasurable but not to the point of losing his mind. The insides of your vagina were giving him newfound feelings.

It was definitely different from having sex with a man, which Levi enjoyed very much.

But you added a certain magic to things that made it special. The soft dominant-submissive role play, the intimacy, and the non-awkwardness in between. It was something new he had never experienced, there was emotion, effort, passion, a need to release tension, and not just having sex for the sake of it. Or because it was part of the routine.

Not like when he made love with Erwin.

And for a moment, Levi was afraid.

That he may end up like this too much and that he won't be able to stop.

Because how could he stop?

When you began to move up and down faster and faster. When you were moaning his name and letting out exasperated breaths? When the tip of his penis was hitting your insides and remolding them to fit perfectly into his shape.

He felt himself getting closer to his climax and he couldn't wait to release everything inside of him. Levi wanted to see everything about you, from the way he is giving you pleasure to see your reaction when he fills you up completely with his semen. He could only hope that you would find it as good as he was.

"I am almost there," Levi said as his voice cracked, placing his beautiful hands on your hips trying to help you pick up a faster speed. He was losing his mind, his body filled with ecstasy as he heard the screeching sound of the bed.

Sensual sounds were created as he went in and outside of you.

"It's ok, just come inside baby," you say as you felt happy that you were making Levi reach his climax. He was almost there, you moved your hips, making Levi's penis move inside of you, making sure he won't forget the texture nor feeling of your vagina. You had to make sure he felt every centimeter of you, just like you were doing with his penis.

"I am coming-"

And you felt it all and for a moment you thought that you were also going to orgasm. But you were glad you didn't because you had other things in mind.

However, that didn't stop you from making you feel good.

Warm liquid going inside of you, small drips of semen coming out of your vagina as took Levi's penis from you. Drips of cum rolling down his own dick and Levi only wanted to memorize this moment right here.

Where your face looks inviting, blush on your face and you are licking your lips as if you wanted to eat him right there and there.

"Well, now it's time for your punishment," you say and to that Levi only opened his eyes in amusement.

"What?"

And just like that, you take Levi's penis inside of you again. Not caring how sensitive he must feel, knowing that eventually, he is going to enjoy it.

Moving up and down, you place your hands on the bed's headboard using it for extra support. This was going to be good, you saw Levi just right underneath you, you had a clear look at his face.

Your goal wasn't to reach a climax but to break him completely.

To try, even if it was for the tiniest of the moment, to make him forget about the woman named Maria.

The woman who you did not know but had jealousy towards her.

"But, I am- sensitive-" Levi began to lose himself as he found himself getting waves of pleasure. Yes, there was a pain, he had cum after all not too long ago. But he felt himself go hard again as you landed on top of his dick again and again.

Pain and pleasure, something he enjoyed deeply and he couldn't formulate words he felt the walls of your vagina wrapping tighter on him.

Sweat, the erotic smell of your and Levi's body fluids mixing again to create an intoxicating aroma. The sound of his penis going in and outside of you as your backside touched Levi's skin. The bed moving, the lights dim and the bedsheets a mess.

"Shit," you murmured as you started to feel really good. Levi's penis was touching all the good spots and you felt even more excited because you noticed how crazy Levi was going underneath you.

"Please don't stop, shit, y/n, don't you dare stop," he whispers as he clings on the bed sheets for dear life. He was starting to get desperate, he wanted to take control but at the moment he was feeling so good that he didn't dare stop you.

But you did.

You stopped.

"This is your punishment," you say as you come to a halt. You had his penis still inside and you and you could feel it twitching inside, it felt good, so good. But your boy needed to learn a lesson.

"Maybe I should just not let you finish," you say as you got closer to his chest. There was a spot you still haven't played with, his nipples.

You gave it a quick lick, teasing the short man. His face showed nothing but satisfaction, nothing but pleasure, and his eyes craving for you to continue.

"Now, what did I say earlier?" You asked as you started sucking on his small nipple, getting a few moans from Levi.

"Please, just keep moving, please," he begged a little more and you loved how you had him at your feet. "Please let me cum, I promise I'll just come inside of you please-"

But he did not continue with words as he a small bite on his left nipple. You were playing with it, sucking, biting, kissing all the while he was still inside of you.

"Levi Ackerman," you say as you look at his eyes, they were teary. He really had reached a breaking point, he wanted nothing but to come inside of you, nothing but to make you reach your orgasm.

"From now, every time you cum, you will think of me," you say. "From now on ... You can only use me to cum, all you want. And I'll use you."

Finally, you began to move. Levi couldn't control his moans any longer, and he extended his hands to grabs yours that where in the cupboard. The act surprised you, but you didn't mind.

"Please ... Hold my hands."

Sometimes Levi could be too cute, you smile as you interviewed your fingers with his. Never stopping the act of lovemaking. Both of you ready to reach a climax together.

You weren't expecting much from Levi if you were completely honest, but he had proven himself to be a nice lover. Seeing this side of him woken something inside of you and you couldn't get enough of him.

You loved how slowly he was breaking you, it was going to hurt a little to walk tomorrow but it didn't matter. What matter was this moment.

How Levi rolled his eyes in ecstasy as he was losing his mind, traveling to another dimension he was unknown to but he loved. And you were about to orgasm as you felt Levi holding onto your hands for dear life, as his previous semen was coming in and inside of you, making all the sexy sounds and shame was not known.

"Please y/n," Levi whispered ready to climax again. "Watch me cum."

"Levi," your voice tremble as you looked at his ocean eyes. "Watch me cum too."

And with one final stroke, you lost your mind just as Levi did. You felt Levi cuming inside of you, releasing all of his semen in you. Your legs trembled as you tried to control your loud moan, coming out as a repressed scream of Levi's name.

Levi was the contrary, he had let out a loud moan as he felt that you were taking the life away from him. He knew that after this he won't have anything more to give you, which was sad because he would love to see you drink his semen as his dick pumped it down your throat.

Maybe next time.

If there was a next time.

He had lost his mind, even right now as he was trying to catch his breath he couldn't believe how good it felt to be under your control. Shit, it still felt good since your vagina was still trembling around his penis.

You still haven't moved away, making sure you take in everything, not letting go of a single drop of his semen out of you.

Trying to catch up with your breath and still, on top of Levi, you knew that he was far gone. Tired and breathless, his sweaty body was still taking in all the previous pleasure and it even seems like he was enjoying himself right now.

You went near his face and removed his dark hair out of his hair delicately and without too much thought, you kissed his cheek.

"My dear Levi," you whisper, "I hope I didn't leave you wanting for more."

And at that moment Levi could only think that it was too late to ever stop now.

Too late.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: this was probably the longest smut I've written and the only chapter that is smut only. 4k500 words.
> 
> This is so different from what I usually write. If you noticed y/n and Levi never kissed while having sex and the reason is that at this point there are no romantic feelings between the two, only lust.
> 
> But of course, even in lust, there can be romantic moments and funny moments too lol.
> 
> I hope this was up to everyone's expectations. As I've said before, since this a draft, I just write for the sake of it with no editing. I wanted to make this longer actually, but I got bored in the middle of it and decided to save some good parts for the next parts.
> 
> I have a love-hate relationship with this story because I feel like it could be good but since I don't feel attached to y/n, I just can't find myself developing anything better.
> 
> So, yeah this was super different from what I usually write. This was way more explicit and these are the types of scenes that would never be written in One Last Time because it lacks feelings and emotions, but of course, it's intended to be that way.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you found some satisfaction from this chapter and I hope it wasn't cringy or too bad written.
> 
> Next chapter we are going back to the story and more drama!
> 
> If you liked this chapter, leave a comment! I always appreciate and love to read comments and they really motivate me to continue to write.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and see you next week.


	7. Preparations

**_Levi_ **

_I hate feeling this way. I am never enough, never good enough._

_I have come to realize that no matter how good I am or how hard I work for things, at the end of the day I am never good enough._

_Life is unfair, isn't it? Why can't I be the first option? Why can't I be the best at something? I fucking hate myself because I am petty over the most trial things, but can you blame me? I've never had anything good in my life, I've never been anyone's first option nor anyone's favorite._

_Everyone seems to be so much successful and happier than me ... So, why?_

_Why can't I be like them?_

_Why can't I accept the fact that I am good for nothing and will be miserable the rest of my life?_

_Why can't people love me?_

_Why can't I just fucking die?_

_I just want to die. Someone ... I am too much of a coward ... So, please, anyone._

_Kill me._

.

.

.

The thing that woke up Levi was the sound of the bed moving. He instantly missed the warmth that your body brought him and it was a strange feeling for him. It has been a while since he had slept like this.

And just what the fuck happened last night?

It wasn't like Levi knew, he was very well aware of what happened last night. It was more the fact that Levi still couldn't believe that it happened.

To a certain extent, Levi felt bad for you. He had slept with you because Erwin had asked him to. But seeing that you slept with him just to break the 'tension' and for 'fun' the feelings slowly started to fade away.

Yesterday was special, at least to Levi. That was the first time he had been with a woman and if he was completely honest, he enjoyed it ... and a lot.

Meanwhile, you stood up from the bed, wrapping a blanket around your body and without realizing that Levi was staring at you. From afar he noticed the hickeys in your back, something he found incredibly attractive and he began to wonder if he had any hickeys himself.

You turned around and found Levi sitting on the edge of the bed. Not knowing what to say, but only stare. You shouldn't have left so many hickeys on his neck, now he was going to have to wear a scarf.

"I am going to take a shower, feel yourself at home," you say as you watched Levi nod and after his action, you disappear into the coldness of the shower.

It wasn't a bad morning, all the contrary, you felt nice. As if anything you had to say to Levi of felt about him had finally being released.

You turned the shower on and waited for the warm water to come out. You took the time to look at yourself in the mirror and appreciated your body.

Levi had also done his way with you, Levi small hickeys on your neck, not as many as you had left him but still it was cute to see that he was trying really hard to please you.

You let out a small smile as you remember last night, you could picture it. His face, his blush, the way he was moaning and moving underneath you.

Levi showed you so many sides of him, he was a simple man. With his wants and needs. He was vulnerable and loveable.

Levi was a kind-hearted man ... easy to love.

Very easy to love.

You shook your head as you tried to get rid of the idea. Walking towards the shower, you extended a hand to touch the now warm water and without too much thought, you hop into it. Letting the water run through your body and it was relaxing. And there was something about water ... That always brings out the truth in you.

Last night, made you realize many things.

One, that Levi was easy to love. He was a man that you just felt attracted to. You weren't 15 anymore, you knew what you wanted and what kind of men you were into. And tragically, you always seem to fall in love with the ones that were not right for you.

Because Levi already had Erwin. The man who he loved, the man who constantly lived in his dreams, and the man who Levi would do anything for.

Not only him but Levi had Maria.

Maria.

That damn woman who you didn't know who it was but you were deeply jealous of. That woman has affected Levi in so many ways and he didn't even know her.

Slowly, you began to bend your knees, letting your body touch the cold floor of the shower. Your back delicately touching the wall and it was a nice contrast. The warm water against the coldness of the walls.

Yesterday night, you realized another thing.

To you, Levi's eyes were beautiful but something was missing. As if he was not totally there. Lifeless, two pools of beautiful calm oceans.

But the moment Levi talked about her, you saw it.

How the life he never had was back to his eyes. Bright eyes, full of life, and the dead calm ocean was no longer there. Instead, there were all the shades of blue, of the fiery blue sky, of the dark deep oceans, and the type of beauty you had only seen in the most incredible paintings.

You realized ... That he will never look at you, the way he would look at her.

And you can only wonder, just how more beautiful he would look the moment he finally sees her.

The moment he meets her ... whoever that is, it was bound to happen. Just like you met Nicholas a few weeks ago, it was destiny.

And you couldn't help but let a few tears out.

Pathetic.

Just pathetic.

You should have known ... that you were never enough.

_"Just why ... Why can't he look at me like that?"_

_._

_._

_._

Levi knew better than to invade your privacy and in all honesty, it was just an accident. Your phone kept ringing and his eyes immediately landed on the small table next to your bed, your phone on top.

And on your screen, a few different messages popped out.

**_Nicholas:_ **

_Hey, wanna hang out?_

_You gotta tell me everything, did you and Levi did the do?_

_I need to know who is better, me or him?_

_Also, you still have my sweater, you can keep it but you gotta buy me ice cream._

Of course, Nicholas Flaherty.

Nicholas fucking Flaherty, the lucky bastard.

He didn't know what bothered him the most, the fact that you had indeed had sex with Nicholas or the fact you told Nicholas that you were going to have sex with him.

Apart of him wanted to text him back and tell him to not text you again. But of course, he couldn't do that. He shouldn't care, after all, there was nothing going on in between you two. Nothing but a nice friendship ... Kind of.

He tried to shake off the feelings but the sensation left a bad taste in his mouth. Levi stood up from the bed and picked up his pants, he wished he could take a shower too but preferred to do that at the comfort of his apartment.

As he finished buttoning his shirt, he felt small vibrations coming from his pants' pocket.

It didn't take him long to realize that it was his cellphone, well more like his flip-phone.

He rarely received any text messages or calls but when that happened it was usually Erwin and today was no different.

_"Did everything go alright?"_

As he read the text message, Levi couldn't help but wonder what Erwin's motives were. What were his true feelings for him?

Not like it matters too much for Levi at this point in the relationship, he really had no choice. He was a puppet to whatever he pleases because what else was there to do?

What else could he do?

He can't force him to love him.

And he just knew.

Levi knew that he couldn't ask for too much. After all, he wasn't enough. He was never enough and being with Erwin was already too much of a blessing.

Levi felt worthless, useless. Someone like him would never be anyone's first choice. Someone like him will never be enough, if this was everything his life could be, then let be it.

He never really had a choice, this was his pathetic life. Whatever happens, will happen and if tomorrow he is heartbroken, then whatever.

If tomorrow he dies, then that would be a relief.

Levi had accepted, that his life was just useless and that people should do whatever they want to do with him.

If Erwin wants to use him, fine.

If you want to use him, fine.

If he kills himself, fine.

If only he stopped being such a coward he would just jump out of the building and get it over with.

He could only hope that today as he crosses the streets, someone would run over him. Hopefully today.

Maybe, today is the day.

.

.

.

It was times like this in which Levi wished he could have a little bit more help. Being the only janitor at Titan High school was a lot of work and responsibility, especially when Homecoming was just around the corner.

Decorating the parade cart to make it as good as possible was almost an impossible task. Especially it was the high school's old rusty truck. Levi wasn't the best at decorating either and he even felt ashamed for his skills.

For now, he only focused on taking off the rust from the metal of the truck with a small piece of sandpaper. Working on the high school's parking lot on a late afternoon wasn't that bad at all if it wasn't that Homecoming was this Friday and he still needs to get mentally ready for all the cleaning he had to do this week.

"Do you need any help?"

As if his prayers were heard, you appeared carrying five buckets of paints. All of them looked heavy but to you, it was no problem. Three other kids followed you two. He knew them from before, Armin, Eren, and Mikasa.

Levi and you haven't talked since that night and it was mostly on his part. You seemed to be relaxed about the whole situation but he couldn't help and remember that night.

"Well, if you all are not too busy," he says as he looks away, trying his best to cover the blush on his face.

"Very well then, Mikasa and I will scrape off the dust of the truck while Eren paints the clean parts. Armin can start making the posters and you can bring us some fake flowers to decorate it."

You walk towards Levi and take off the sandpaper from his hand. Your hands touch his for a few seconds and Levi flinched a little by the contact. Turning around as you let out a heavy sigh, you look at your three students, ready to help.

"Everyone got that? Let's get started!"

"Ok!"

.

.

.

You thought that after everything the two of you had gone through, things would go smoothly. But things weren't going as planned. Instead, Levi was acting shy, more than usual. He would try to avoid eye contact and stop interacting with you.

Seeing the three students were distracted painting the car and you and Levi were left painting some posters, maybe right now it was a good time to talk.

"Hey, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," you say as you deep your brush into the blue bucket of paint. "We don't have to ever talk about it if you don't want to, but I just want to let you know that I hope we are still friends you know? Let's just move on from that."

But how could he? He still hasn't been able to figure out his feelings nor what he is supposed to do next. According to Erwin's plans, Levi was supposed to act as calmly as possible and be nice to you but right now he was having a difficult time doing so.

Especially because whenever he looks at you, he remembers that night. A night which he enjoyed very much but it also gave him a lot to think about.

"How can you act so calmly?" he whispers but you heard him. Levi didn't dare to look at you but instead, he focused on painting the poster in front of him.

"I've been in situations like this before, you get used to it," you say as you decided to not look at him for now, knowing that maybe that was what caused his shyness in the first place.

A few seconds passed in which you didn't know if your words came out as you intended them to be. The last thing you wanted was for Levi to have a bad impression of you. Before, you wouldn't have cared what anyone thought of you. But somehow with Levi ... You didn't want him to think bad of you.

"Why did you want to sleep with me? He asks suddenly and although the questions took you by surprise at first, you already had the answer for that.

"You know why ... I thought we could get closer and do things better for our fake-relationship-"

"I mean, the _real_ reason why."

Could you be any more obvious? You thought that you were good at hiding things, things like feelings and your mannerisms. But maybe Levi saw more than that, maybe he saw how a faint pink blush would decorate your cheeks. Or how you tried your best to look good for him or how even when you were 24, would act like a 15-year-old in love.

But enough is enough.

"Because I like you," you say. "It's just a stupid crush, don't think too much about it."

But to Levi, he couldn't think of anything else. Nothing else crossed his mind but the words _'_

_'I like you'_

He expected something else, maybe something along the lines of _'I just wanted to have fun_ ' or

_'I don't know, I didn't have anything better to do'_

You weren't looking at him a bit embarrassed and trying to focus on the poster on the ground. You felt his eyes on him for the first time and the silence was killing you.

"But as I've said, don't take it seriously, the feelings would go away so-"

And when you looked at him, when your eyes meet his, you could see it. Those eyes were beautiful, there was no doubt.

You thought that there was nothing more beautiful than his dark beautiful eyes.

But you were wrong.

There was nothing more beautiful but the warm smile Levi had the moment you looked at him.

And as the sun began to set and the sunlight touched Levi's soft face, his eyes sparkled with something else. A warm feeling, it was one of those moments in which you could tell he was feeling happy. His eyes said it all and as your face began to get closer to his, you didn't care what may happen next.

Slowly, very slowly ... Your noses almost touching and before closing your eyes you decided to look at his.

And at that moment you knew, that this couldn't happen.

Because although Levi acted like he wanted to kiss you, it wasn't you who wanted to kiss.

It was someone else.

And you saw it in his eyes, that same look he had whenever he would talk about _her._

You were stupid to ever think that Levi had that kind of feelings for you.

So, so stupid.

You immediately pulled away, glad that you were able to resist his charming eyes. Pretending like this never happened was better, you had to admit that sleeping with Levi did help you figure out your feelings. And now that the tension between the two of you was done, maybe you could get over those stupid feelings.

Levi on the other hand wanted to say something because he thought that you wanted to kiss him. A bit of embarrassment ran through his body at the thought that he may have misinterpreted things.

"Mr. Ackerman! Ms. y/l!"

Armin's voice broke the awkward tension between the two of you and you were glad that you focus on something else.

"We are done painting the truck! We just need to out the flowers!"

Taking a big sigh, you look at Levi as you got rid of all previous embarrassment. You couldn't act like a teenager anymore, you were an adult, and things needed to be sort in a civilized manner.

"Good job kids!" You stood up from the ground and stretched a hand towards Levi.

"Come on Levi, let's finish this together,"

Maybe things were going fine. At the moment Levi was content that words were no necessary between you two. He just knows that your friendship was still intact. And for now, that's all that he needed to have some comfort.

Levi held onto your hand and he loved how soft your hands were. Standing up from the ground, he gives you a small smile, and without realizing it, he didn't want to let go of you.

And he didn't.

.

.

.

It was strange for Erwin to come all this way. Now that he thinks about it, he probably has never been to Levi's apartment before until now. In all honesty, he was quite scared and nervous especially since he came uninvited.

He wouldn't have come if it wasn't because Levi was acting strange lately towards him. His lover would avoid him and the looks and contact have stopped during the whole week and although he didn't want to sound needed, he was.

Erwin knocked three times on the door and the seconds that passed were hell and he thought that maybe it wasn't too late to escape. But before he could do anything of that manner, the short man opened the door.

Levi had just finished taking a shower, he had a small towel around his shoulders, letting the water in his wet hair drip in the towel. Wearing loose white pajamas and his breath a little bit agitated.

"Erwin? What are you doing here?" Levi asked, panicking a little as he remembered he hasn't had the time to properly clean his apartment.

"I came to see you."

.

.

.

Yeah, talk.

One moment they were drinking tea and the other they were making out on the couch.

And although Levi loved making love with Erwin, he hated the fact that they could never do anything more than this. It was always sex and they never really had any other type of intimacy nor talk.

Their relationship was swallowed but at this point, Levi had given up.

Levi was on Erwin's lap as he started to move his hips, trying to create some type of friction between him and Erwin's penis. The sound of wet kisses and exchange of saliva as the tea was long forgotten and cold by now.

"Wait, I didn't come here for that," Erwin breaks the kiss as he looks at Levi, sitting on top of him. "I wanted to ask you about y/n, how did everything go?"

Levi didn't know how to react to the question. Should he feel happy because Erwin was actually starting a conversation? Or feel sad again because he was interested on the thing that was important to him?

"It went alright, you were right ... She does have feelings for me," Levi says as he removes his hands from Erwin's shoulders. "How long do I have to pretend?"

"Until the principal does his yearly evaluations, shouldn't be too long," Erwin says. "I just want for these evaluations to go perfectly, I don't want for the principal to think that we are a thing ... If they found out, they will conclude that the rumors of us having sex in the classroom are correct and they will fire us."

"Yeah and no one else would hire us," letting out a heavy sigh, Levi removes from Erwin and lands on the couch, next to him. "I just don't see the point of having y/n fall for me ... Don't you think it's a bit cruel?"

"As much as I would like to trust y/n, there's something about her that I can't trust," the blond man takes a quick on Levi. Somehow he seemed different. "Just to make sure everything goes smoothly and that it seems natural ... It won't harm us if she was the smallest of a crush on you."

It went quiet after that and strangely enough, Levi wished he was alone. Before he would love to spend time with Erwin, but now it wasn't like that. He was finding it pleasing to spend more and more time alone and that was dangerous.

Because when he was alone, there would be many scary thoughts going through his head.

But even when he was scared of those thoughts, he prefers to be alone than to be with Erwin.

Levi would have preferred that you were here with him.

"Erwin ... Do you ... love me?"

Levi wasn't planning on asking that, but it was more of an impulse. Now, there was no backing away as his dark blue eyes met his sky blue ones.

Erwin was quiet, very much and Levi was never good at reading him but at this moment he knew his answers.

"I like the time I spend with you," he says. "But I can't lie to you and tell you that I have that kind of feeling towards you when I don't."

Of course, Levi knew that since the beginning. So why does it hurt so much?

"There's this woman actually, to whom I hold very dearly," Erwin took a deep breath and without much thought, he continued. "She's everything I dreamt of ... I can't imagine a life without her and when all of this over ... I wish to start a life with her."

"So you are not only using y/n, you are using me?"

"I told you since the beginning, that our relationship would only be sexual, didn't I?" Erwin says as he took a moment to look away. "Are you telling me ... You have feelings for me?"

Erwin played it dumb.

Of course, he knew. Erwin was very perceptive with these kinds of things. Not only that but no one would have done what Levi did unless he had genuine feelings. Erwin knew he was doing wrong, but all that stop having any worth.

"No, it's just ...."

Levi felt his throat go dry as tears threatened to come out. It was starting to hurt a lot. His indifference and it wasn't like he could complain. Because from the very start, Erwin had been clear that he couldn't have feelings for him.

But there was always hope, the tiniest of hope that after all of this ... Erwin could feel something for him.

"Fuck this," Levi stood up from the sofa as he avoided making any type of eye contact with Erwin. "Sorry, Erwin but I am quite busy, would you mind leaving now?"

The blond man could tell by his voice that Levi wasn't doing any good and he prefers to give the man his space. It wasn't like he didn't care, he did but he also had his priorities.

If he wanted to be with Marie, then sacrifices were needed.

_"I am sorry, Levi."_

"Alright, I'll see you later."

Standing up from the sofa and walking towards the door, Erwin wanted to take one last look at Levi but the short man only looked at the floor. He was unable to see his blue eyes as his black hair covered them.

"Goodbye Levi."

The was the last thing Levi heard from Erwin after he closed the door.

He was alone again, on the small four corners of his room. Levi placed his back on the door and slowly he slid down, taking a seat on the cold floor. His back arched a little as felt without energy.

_"I am tired, I am fucking tired of not being enough. Of not being someone's first choice, I am fucking tired that my life has no fucking meaning and I am fucking tired that I can't stop feeling this way."_

Levi didn't even like crying, he just felt desperate as the air was being slowly taken away from him. As if there was no escape, as if not matter how much he tried his life could not get any better.

Not even therapy was helping and he was going on a regular basis.

What else can he do?

_"Why? Why can't he love me?"_

Breathing heavily as he began to scratch his palms, almost to the point of bleeding. It wasn't that Erwin didn't love him.

It was the fact that he depended emotionally on him, the fact that he had put all of his hopes on him.

Levi thought that having sex with Erwin, having any type of relationship with him would make him happy.

But it didn't.

He wanted more, he wanted to have an emotional connection with someone. Levi wanted to love and feel loved, but how was that possible if he was worthless? How could anyone love him if he was utterly a scum on earth?

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to die!"

Was this all his life was about? A constant pain? It wasn't worth living.

He could never be the best at anything. He wasn't the best looking nor the smartest, he was weak and short.

And no matter how much he tried to change.

He couldn't.

And then, a short memory popped into his mind.

It was peaceful, the smell of grass and lavender.

He was looking at the horizon as the sun began to set, the soft touch of a delicate hand on his. He followed someone from behind, the folds of a white dress. The soft movement of brown hair dancing with the wind.

A woman he did not recognize but at the same time, he felt like he had waited for millennia to meet her.

And his panic attack stopped and he felt his heartbeat go back to normal.

This was not his memory. He had never lived through this nor has ever felt such tranquility before.

Someone ... in another life. In another universe.

Levi lets out a heavy sigh as he wraps his arms around his bent legs. His head lay on his knees, trying to go back to feel that sweet sentiment.

His heart ached, his head hurts and his body was in constant pain. And the only thing that kept him together was the thought that someone out there, someone who he doesn't know, in another life, in another universe ....

Someone loved him.

_"Maria ... Why aren't you here with me?"_

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Slowly, the love triangle is starting to form?
> 
> Nicholas has some sort of romantic feelings towards you and you have feelings for Levi (But Levi doesn't feel the same way as up to right now) and he has feelings for Erwin and Erwin has feelings for Marie.
> 
> I think at this point Levi has no romantic feelings for Maria. He sees her more as a sign of hope that things will turn out fine. Levi really wants to meet her with the hopes that after that, his life will get better.
> 
> Friendly reminder that this is a Levi x Reader so Y/n will end up with you. But the price to pay for that will be really high. I hope you are all prepared for the tears.
> 
> These chapters are short, I hope it's not boring lol. Next chapter the real drama will start.
> 
> Anyways, thank you, anyone, who takes the time to read this. It's not my best work but I am excited to see where to take this next.
> 
> Also, for the people who have read and enjoyed One Last Time, I have something very nice prepared for you all! I am excited about this project! More news to come.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading these drafts of work. Thank you and see you next week!


	8. Homecoming

_For a moment it seemed like time had stopped until the carriage moved uncontrollably. It was usual to find rocks and bumps on the road but this time the carriage made such a commotion that it made all the passengers inside hit their heads with the top part of the wheeled vehicle._

_Rain poured down from the skies as if the gods were crying and it only made the passengers sigh in disappointment._

"Y/n, everything alright?"

Nicholas's voice interrupted your reading and you felt a little annoyed because only right now you found some time to read the book Erwin recommend to you.

"Yes, why are you asking?" you kept looking at the book with the hope that Nicholas would stop asking questions. It's not like it bothered you much but you preferred not to be interrupted while reading.

"Well, usually, you don't read after sex."

"Oh, yeah."

You look over to the side and found Nicholas curled up in the sheets of the bed. His red hair a mess and his face a bit sweaty. You even noticed some hickeys on his neck and wondered if he left any on you.

Usually, you two would just shower together and then sleep together afterward but tonight you decided to change the routine a little.

It's been a couple of weeks since Erwin recommends you to read _'One Last Time'_ the book had been in your drawer for long enough now and you thought that right now it was the time to read it.

"Well, I am going to take a shower and then I'll cook something for you," Nicholas smiled as he got close to you and kissed your cheek. The act surprised you because although Nicholas was one to show a lot of affection, it wasn't like this.

Maybe being friends with benefits wasn't a good idea after all.

"Alright, thank you."

You smile back as Nicholas stood up from the bed and with a soft look on his face, he went to your bathroom.

Many things have happened and although you hated to admit it, your mind was occupied with thoughts of Levi. It was very clear to you that Levi did not reciprocate any type of feelings for you. And you were trying to get rid of the overwhelming feeling on your chest by sleeping with Nicholas.

Somehow, you felt like Nicholas even knew about this and he didn't mind at all. Nonetheless, maybe it was time to talk and clear things out again.

You didn't want to worry about that right, actually, the only thing you wanted to do was to read and be indulged in the story.

And you continued.

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**_Levi_ **

_I have come to realize that my life is nothing but a failure._

_Not everyone is special and some people are ok with that but I am not._

_I want to be special, I want to be loved and appreciated. Is it wrong for me to want such things? Or should I just give up and accept the fact that my life will never be meaningful?_

_I am selfish._

_Because I want everything and I can't have it. I want people to look at my work and compliment me. To tell me that I did a good job and that I am important._

_But no matter how much I try it doesn't happen._

_I am jealous._

_Of those who do the bare minimum and they get compliments all the time. Of those who only have to smile to look beautiful and those who don't have to do much to be loved by all._

_Because no matter how much I try, no matter how do I try to be special. I am not enough._

_And I hate myself for that._

_Because I have tried ... I have tried soo hard and no matter what I do I can't move forward._

_I was never destined for greatness. I am no one. I am not special._

_So why live if I can't change a damn thing? Why live if I can't be special enough to change the world? Why live if I don't get to enjoy the love and appreciation of others?_

_There's no point._

_If I wasn't such a coward ... I would just get a knife and cut my veins open._

_I hate myself. I hate myself. I want to die, I want to die. Every day I wake up and wish to be dead._

_If there's a God ... Please have mercy on me and end my misery._

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You and Nicholas decided to go to Homecoming together. Watching the parade through the sidelines was entertaining and it even reminded you of the old times where you participated in it. It was nostalgic and looking back at Nicholas, it made you wonder just how in the world you got two still talk to each other.

Maybe it was the sex.

Or maybe that there was still some type of love between you two.

But of course, at the moment you weren't even trying to find out.

Sitting on the outside of Nichola's Bakery, it was a good place to view the parade. The table and chairs facing the street while you took a bite of your loaf of bread, was recently made and it was another reason the world gave you to fall in love with Nicholas Flaherty.

"I will never understand why you love simple bread ... There's no flavor," Nicholas sat on the other side of the small outdoor table. "There's a lot of sweet bread inside too."

"What do you mean? It does have flavor," you say as you started to hear music coming closer. Titan High school's band must be approaching soon.

"Besides when it's free, it tastes better."

"You are right about that,"

A few seconds of silence passed as they watched the band passing by, the music loud but you still clapped a little. Especially when you saw a few of your students playing their instruments flawlessly.

"Oh, also, I forgot to tell you, I am inviting Levi to a family dinner," Nicholas says and you immediately turn to look at him. Giving a confused look.

"Family dinner? Like, Levi and your family?" you ask. This wasn't the best moment to talk because the music of the parade was still loud.

"Yes, I did some research and by that, I mean taking a picture when he wasn't looking," Nicholas took a bite of his donut and he smiled at you like a little kid. "Turns out, we are cousins."

"Uh?"

"I told you my mom's last name is Ackerman," Nicholas says. "She told me she had a sister who passed away and had a kid ... But she was never accepted by the family."

You remember meeting Nicholas' mom a few times when you used to date him in high school. He absolutely did not look anything like his mom. She had beautiful short black hair with dark blue eyes and pale skin. The only thing Nicholas inherited from her was her beautiful eyes but everything else, Nicholas took after his father.

Red wavy hair and small freckles on his cheeks and golden skin.

There was no wonder why he used to model.

"What do you mean she was never accepted by your family?"

"Well, my mom's family, the Ackerman is quite .. special," Nicholas placed his donut down on the plate as he looks to the side to appreciate the parade. "They don't get 'involved' with people who are not up to their standards."

"Kutchel, my mom's sister, she got involved with someone ... She got pregnant by some stranger and she was kicked out of the house ... and I think she became a prostitute."

Tragically, Levi was never one to talk about himself and it's not like you could force him either. But the more you learn about him, the more you realize how complicated his life must be. And it's not like prostitution was wrong, at the end of the day, if everything was done with consent, there was no problem.

The problem becomes when you are forced to do it. Either because you are hungry, because there's no money and you have to feed your child.

"And she passed away?"

"Yes, I don't know how old he must have been, but I am guessing he was quite young when it happened."

"And do you think Levi meeting your family is a good idea?" you put your loaf of bread down on the plate, you weren't hungry anymore. "All of this time, why didn't your family reach out for him?"

"I am telling you, my family is special in a bad way ... I had to beg my mother to let me invite him."

"I don't know, I don't think it's a good idea," you say. "But I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask him."

"Right! I am so excited!"

Nicholas had always been a lonely kid. He was the only child and he had no younger relatives that were his age from what you know. Maybe a few but all of them lived in different parts of the country.

Due to this, he was pretty popular in high school as he would try to make as many friends as possible. And seeing Nicholas so excited about having a new friend, or family, was cute, to say the least.

"Also this is random but ... the reason why you dated me was that you knew your mom would like me?" you look at the parade again, this time it was the cheerleaders doing their cheer routine. "You were so popular in high school and you never dated anyone but me."

"Your dad is a politician ... so it's my dad ... so she thought we would make a good couple," Nicholas's voice lowered, a bit scared of what he might say next. "I have to admit that she influenced me a little."

You stood quiet as you watch the homecoming parade continue. The loud music, the smell of fried potatoes, and the cheers of the crowd. It was a nice sight, peaceful but you still felt like something was missing.

"But I didn't date you because of her ... I dated you because I liked you."

Without notice, Nicholas grabbed your hand, making you look at him at his beautiful dark blue eyes.

"And I still do."

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Now you were at the Homecoming dance, the thing that students were more excited about. Also to know who in their group of friends will be Homecoming Queen and King. Friday night could have been spent better but since they were paying you extra to be a chaperone, you didn't mind too much.

Also, Levi was here. Cleaning everything that became dirty and looking as lonely as he could be. This reminded you of the first time you saw him, just like this.

Maybe that was the thing that caught your attention about him. He just looked lonely and sad. And even now, when he was going to therapy once a week, he didn't look to be doing any better.

And even after having sex with him your feelings for him didn't change. At first, you thought that it was a sexual attraction because, at the end of the day, Levi was a handsome man. And you thought that after having sex with him, those feelings of desire would go away.

But they didn't.

If anything was more intensified. And it wasn't just of that of carnal lust. You wanted him in an innocent way too. You craved his body as much as his soul. You wanted to see all sides of him, especially when he smiles. Especially when he looks at you and he has the most sincere, soft, and loving look on his face.

_Fuck._

You stood up from your seat, the dance was taking place in the school's gym but it was nicely decorated to look like a party venue. Party lights everywhere and terrible balloons decorations but still that was what made up high school dance's aesthetic.

"Hey, cocksucker! Clean this!"

But as you were about to approach Levi, you saw two students throw a soda drink at Levi. Completely ruining his janitor's uniform.

You felt your blood boil and even felt your cheeks heat up. With bigger steps, you approached the two students. You didn't know them but you didn't care either.

"You two come over here, apologize and clean your own shit!"

The last word wasn't supposed to come out. Also, it shouldn't have been as loud as it was because you could feel a few eyes on you. But you were so angry that you didn't care at the moment.

"And who are you tell what to do? You are just one whore of a teacher, aren't you?" one of the students said as they approached you. "Sleeping with the janitor and the history teacher too."

And suddenly, the music stops and the dim lights become brighter. All the eyes of the teachers, students, and school staff on you. Did they hear? What should you do? Respond? Deny it? Yes, you had sex with Levi but with Erwin? Never. Where do people even come up with rumors?

"Why don't we all just calm down?"

You felt a strong hand being placed on your shoulder. It was history's professor, Erwin Smith, ready to save the day.

And to make things worse, the principal, Mr. Nowak, just came into the gym to inspect the dance.

And boy he wasn't pleased with the sudden commotion.

"Now the history teacher has come here to save his boyfriend and whore!" the young student says out loud, he was wearing a football jacket meaning he was part of the football team. "Come on why don't you tell the principal that you were fucking the janitor in your classroom!"

"What's going on here?"

Levi watched everything unfold in front of him and how the principal came into the argument. The short man didn't know what to do because all of this happened because of him. He felt guilty and like a coward, because if he could defend himself, you wouldn't have gotten into trouble and Erwin wouldn't have gotten involved.

"Mr. Nowak, we are glad you are here!" the other football player says. "Ms. y/l cursed at us!"

"Because you two threw a drink at Mr. Ackerman!"

"It was an accident!"

This was dangerous, Mr. Nowak was not a comprehensive principal. If anything he was very strict. If you were to make one mistake, then you will be fired and that was something Levi didn't want.

"Mr. Nowak, I think all of this is a big misunderstanding-"

"And Mr. Smith has had sex with the janitor in his classroom! Everyone knows but they are too much of cowards to say something about it!"

"Mr. Smith, is this true?"

Mr. Nowak trusted Erwin, a lot. He couldn't believe that his best teacher could do something like that. Erwin was always a diligent man and the best at his job and loved by all students. Mr. Nowak just couldn't imagine him being careless and not following the rules of the school.

And all eyes were on Erwin, waiting for an answer. Students and teachers alike, waiting for a resolution.

"I must admit that what they are saying is true," Erwin says. "Mr. Ackerman and I are nothing ... but Ms. Y/l and I ... We are together."

_Wait, what?_

The same thought crossed everyone's mind. And it was much of a surprise. After all, the rumor that you and Erwin were a thing started since the day Armin saw you and Erwin talking in the library. You weren't aware of it and it even made you wonder if the other teachers knew.

"I am very sorry sir, I know that relationships between teachers are not allowed but-"

Levi watched Erwin talk to Mr. Nowak. If he was successful, he would come out of this clean and without any type of punishment. But Levi just couldn't understand him.

Why go through all of this struggle if, in the end, he is going to pretend to be with you? Wasn't Erwin interested in another woman? What is she going to think after she finds out he is been seeing you? Just what in the world was Erwin Smith doing-

And then it hit Levi.

Erwin wasn't doing it for himself, this didn't have to do with their plan.

It was him. Erwin was doing it for Levi.

He was taking all the blame, whatever punishment that might be given to him. And he was even giving up on the opportunity of becoming the next principal just so Levi could come out clean.

_Am I ... Important to you, Erwin?_

"Mr. Smith, please do not lie on my behalf,"

Levi's voice resonated through the gym. You turn around to see him walking towards you. He looked different, his blue eyes showed confidence, his straight posture made him look strong, and the way he was walking made him look ... incredibly attractive. Even when he was wearing that blue janitor jumpsuit, he somehow made it look good.

"Mr. Nowak, relationships between teachers are prohibited correct?"

Levi asks as he stands beside you. Even Mr. Nowak was surprised to see such a sudden change in Levi's attitude as his voice had become deeper and he wasn't breaking off eye contact.

"Yes," Mr. Nowak says as he looks down at Levi. "Rules are very specific, anyone who breaks them must be fired."

"Then, what about a teacher and a janitor?"

And suddenly you feel Levi grab your hand. And at this point, you didn't know if you were going to faint because of the embarrassment or because your heart was beating so fast that you thought everyone could hear it.

"Well, there's no specific rule but-"

"Good, because y/n and I ... we are together."

Levi pulls you closer to him and makes you bend down a little and without hesitation he kisses you.

It was a chaste kiss, so fast that you didn't even realize it had happened. But watching everyone's surprised face made you believe that it happened. Levi had just kissed you in front of everyone, not a care in the world. Holding your hand so softly that for a moment you thought ....

that maybe ... just maybe ... he likes you.

Levi looks at you, his beautiful blue eyes shone with such tenderness and you thought you were going to melt.

_"Please don't look at me like that,"_

And you hated it.

Because you knew that every time he looks at you like that, he is not thinking of you. He is thinking of that woman, the one Levi loves so much and he doesn't even know if she's real.

_"I am not her, don't look at me like that, please ... I am not her."_

And Levi smiles.

"She's my girlfriend."

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/n: To be honest with you all, writing Levi's character is difficult. Because just like him, I also have depression and when I write his thoughts, it kinda triggers me. Not that it's a bad thing, but I think it's one of the reasons why sometimes I feel emotionally drained when writing things like this.
> 
> It's not like One Last Time where although mental health issues are discussed, it's not the main topic of the story. And here, depression and other mental health issues actually have a strong connotation in the story.
> 
> However, I do think that this story is better because I am letting you all having an insight into the mind of someone with depression issues aka me lol.
> 
> I take my writing very seriously (Even if this one is just a draft story) I try to make this story as entertaining and serious as it can be. And of course, for it has its funny moments too.
> 
> That said, I already know where to take this story. It's gonna be sad lol. Sweet but sad.
> 
> You know sometimes I write and I think, what's the point? This is not a popular story not even for Wattpad standards. Is it because I don't write well? Is it because the story is not interesting? I've been writing for quite a long time and it seems like all the effort has been futile.
> 
> I don't know, I've seen terrible stories having thousand of views and receive so much love, it honestly makes me feel bad. I am not saying this to get any type of pity or to make you guys feel sorry for me. I am just trying to understand why, maybe just like Levi, I wasn't meant to be special.
> 
> As I've said, as I just finished writing this, I am emotionally drained and by diving into Levi's depression, I have also triggered these kinds of thoughts within me.
> 
> But I am fine, hopefully, these thoughts will go away soon.
> 
> Also, just letting you know. Since Wattpad is deleting a lot of mature stories, if by any chance any of my stories get deleted, I will quit Wattpad forever and completely move to Ao3. So, if you want, follow me there, all of my stories are already there.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading this.
> 
> See you all next week.


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